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aspergers and gender dysmorphia

markjulips

Hi - I have a 31year old son whom I think may have a mild form Aspergers but has never been diagnosed as it never entered our heads before my neice started having "problems" with her young son and he was diagnosed with autism (which made us do a lot of reading and research with her).  My son has an extremely high IQ and always been good at mathematics and computer programming and has always had obsessions in the past which have always fizzled out when he finds another.  He finds it extremely difficult to make friends, keep a job and has always had relationships with girls but when they end he gets depressed and suicidal.

Last year he revealed he has gender dysmorphia since having counselling sessions after when a psychologist suggested his failed relationships could be because he feels uncomfortable in his male role and I am concerned that this may be yet another obsession which will be irreversible if he does become a woman.  He has now been gioven the go-ahead to take hormones after 4 hours of specialist couselling and 1 seesion with a specialist psychiatrist.

Have any other parents been through this sort of thing or do they think I am just clutching at straws and just watch him go ahead?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    It isn't clear that the previous posters were entirely happy and supportive of their children's choices. I think it is clear that this is a choice that a significant number of asperger's make but it is not clear that it is always a good choice in the longer run.

    There was a documentary on TV a few years ago that followed a number of people in Kings Cross (IIRC) one of whom was desperately unhappy and was saving up for a sex change op. Unfortunately the person was no happier after the op. It didn't fix their unhappiness at all. It seems to me that a lot of people who follow this path are desperately unhappy with something and it is a very obvious thing that one can pick on and blame all of your unhappiness on. If they haven't worked out all of the possible causes of their unhappiness then I can see that being in the wrong body is one way of attributing blame.

    As a very unsuccessful teen, I wondered about my sexuality, got called gay endlessly because I didn't fit in, I wished I was different but didn't take it much further. Now, I am entirely glad that I didn't get swept up by the popularity of freedom of choice etc. I have moved on and am entirely comfortable with myself in the body I was born with.

    One reason for prejudice and lack of acceptance is that a lot of people are genuinely sceptical about the sense of trying to change a very fundamental part of who we are. This doesn't mean that anybody can be discriminated against or bullied for their choices but equally it means that this is just as valid and defendable point of view as those who have the other point of view. Neither viewpoint is right or wrong.

    If I were counselling someone who was considering the options then I would seek out examples of people who are happy with a change and those for whom the change did not resolve anything.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    It isn't clear that the previous posters were entirely happy and supportive of their children's choices. I think it is clear that this is a choice that a significant number of asperger's make but it is not clear that it is always a good choice in the longer run.

    There was a documentary on TV a few years ago that followed a number of people in Kings Cross (IIRC) one of whom was desperately unhappy and was saving up for a sex change op. Unfortunately the person was no happier after the op. It didn't fix their unhappiness at all. It seems to me that a lot of people who follow this path are desperately unhappy with something and it is a very obvious thing that one can pick on and blame all of your unhappiness on. If they haven't worked out all of the possible causes of their unhappiness then I can see that being in the wrong body is one way of attributing blame.

    As a very unsuccessful teen, I wondered about my sexuality, got called gay endlessly because I didn't fit in, I wished I was different but didn't take it much further. Now, I am entirely glad that I didn't get swept up by the popularity of freedom of choice etc. I have moved on and am entirely comfortable with myself in the body I was born with.

    One reason for prejudice and lack of acceptance is that a lot of people are genuinely sceptical about the sense of trying to change a very fundamental part of who we are. This doesn't mean that anybody can be discriminated against or bullied for their choices but equally it means that this is just as valid and defendable point of view as those who have the other point of view. Neither viewpoint is right or wrong.

    If I were counselling someone who was considering the options then I would seek out examples of people who are happy with a change and those for whom the change did not resolve anything.

Children
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