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aspergers and gender dysmorphia

markjulips

Hi - I have a 31year old son whom I think may have a mild form Aspergers but has never been diagnosed as it never entered our heads before my neice started having "problems" with her young son and he was diagnosed with autism (which made us do a lot of reading and research with her).  My son has an extremely high IQ and always been good at mathematics and computer programming and has always had obsessions in the past which have always fizzled out when he finds another.  He finds it extremely difficult to make friends, keep a job and has always had relationships with girls but when they end he gets depressed and suicidal.

Last year he revealed he has gender dysmorphia since having counselling sessions after when a psychologist suggested his failed relationships could be because he feels uncomfortable in his male role and I am concerned that this may be yet another obsession which will be irreversible if he does become a woman.  He has now been gioven the go-ahead to take hormones after 4 hours of specialist couselling and 1 seesion with a specialist psychiatrist.

Have any other parents been through this sort of thing or do they think I am just clutching at straws and just watch him go ahead?

Parents

  • Hi,

    I too have a son who's transgender. Currently, he lives in a country where gender ambiguity is accepted with enthusiasm, but I must confess, my biggest fear is that he will be attacked. Like you, we supported his choice, although in this country their is still a good deal of discomfort associated with the concept and indeed the reality. Friend's/aquantences stopped calling by. The hairdresser refused to cut his hair anymore etc, etc. It's almost like Brits are not ready for those who display greater differences. We have a long way to go, but I think the tide is turning.

    His unhappiness was so obvious, but when he began to dress as a female this seeemed to evaporate.

    To be honest, I don't remember a day when he didn't want to be like a woman. As a single mum i just assumed that his wearing of a teatowel on his head and wrapping it around him like a skirt when he was little, was his attempt at trying to identify with me as a parent figure. I tried to discourage him, but to no avail.

    My son is very tall, and although painfully thin, he doesn't really 'pass' in the true sense. He has a partner now and this seems to have made him feel more at ease so I've no idea if he will take it any further, but he still dresses very feminine.

    My son is also very intellegent and given the genes I've been blessed with (Im also diagnosed ASD.) i am sure he is on the spectrum, but has no diagnosis.

    I only know of one ASD expert that is currently researching Gender identity issues at the moment and that is Sarah Hendrickx

    www.youtube.com/watch

    Part of what she is promoting currently is happiness and wellbeing and this fits in, very much with the gender issues you discuss.

    www.youtube.com/watch

    I believe she may also be writing a book centred on these issues.

    speakingofdifference.com/.../

    I hope these links are helpful, Please keep us posted on any other links/ books you find because I'd like to follow this tread further.

    Merry Christmas

    Coogybear

Reply

  • Hi,

    I too have a son who's transgender. Currently, he lives in a country where gender ambiguity is accepted with enthusiasm, but I must confess, my biggest fear is that he will be attacked. Like you, we supported his choice, although in this country their is still a good deal of discomfort associated with the concept and indeed the reality. Friend's/aquantences stopped calling by. The hairdresser refused to cut his hair anymore etc, etc. It's almost like Brits are not ready for those who display greater differences. We have a long way to go, but I think the tide is turning.

    His unhappiness was so obvious, but when he began to dress as a female this seeemed to evaporate.

    To be honest, I don't remember a day when he didn't want to be like a woman. As a single mum i just assumed that his wearing of a teatowel on his head and wrapping it around him like a skirt when he was little, was his attempt at trying to identify with me as a parent figure. I tried to discourage him, but to no avail.

    My son is very tall, and although painfully thin, he doesn't really 'pass' in the true sense. He has a partner now and this seems to have made him feel more at ease so I've no idea if he will take it any further, but he still dresses very feminine.

    My son is also very intellegent and given the genes I've been blessed with (Im also diagnosed ASD.) i am sure he is on the spectrum, but has no diagnosis.

    I only know of one ASD expert that is currently researching Gender identity issues at the moment and that is Sarah Hendrickx

    www.youtube.com/watch

    Part of what she is promoting currently is happiness and wellbeing and this fits in, very much with the gender issues you discuss.

    www.youtube.com/watch

    I believe she may also be writing a book centred on these issues.

    speakingofdifference.com/.../

    I hope these links are helpful, Please keep us posted on any other links/ books you find because I'd like to follow this tread further.

    Merry Christmas

    Coogybear

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