• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 839 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

PEX at 7

NAS88822

Hi, 

First time poster, Long time lurker. 

In February of this year my son following a series of incidents and problems at school was given a permanent exclusion. In the months prior we have had suspensions and similar and jokingly expected this even with an ECHP taking place. 

The ECHP was never given time to work and was also very in accurate (child may have coeliac's disease as he is slim and pale, Child may have bad Eyesite and hearing. None of which is true)

We have in the 2 years prior had a number of conversations with the school as we did feel our son had an SEN and agreed with the SEN lead who said lets look at this closely. To the point at which it was advised that even before we got a full AUD w/PDA diagnosis, I attend a day for parents of children with SEN needs. I attended and PDA was discussed and it was about the most accurate description of my son ever. 

Anyway, along with that we were told the he was aggressive and violent and talks about gun play and killing, to which we responded "cant be learned at home as we do closely monitor his input as we do know his way of thinking" we were told that his behaviour starts at home and must be on us. It really and truly isn't. 

Our son is a mimic he is easily lead and at 5/6/7 this is only going to be the case when in a new setting. So all of the actions he picked up because of how he functions he would do that when its not appropriate or in class time etc. He could not regulate or manage the social side of this. 

The other note on the school is that since the PEX we have been informed that other children when reports have been made of bad behavior these have been ignored due to previous issues. I wish I could dig more but cant as we dont go to the school so its hearsay. 

ANYWAY. Sorry for rambling im a rather fed up parent. 

I went through the 2 appeal process and both times the panel agreed with the school. Even when a full diagnosis of AUD and ADHD and PDA was mentioned it didnt sway them. The way in which local schools and all those on the panel closed ranks to back one head was scary tbh. 

SO ANYWAY. AGAIN sorry for the rambling as I am the ADHD parent. 

My son is school less and im fighting the panel who do school allocation and Local auth and another ECHP report and thats mostly based on the bad schools PEX documents. 

Anyone else been through similar or the same. Im losing my patience and I have written the same emails 1000 times it seems now. 

Sorry for going on. Maybe I just need to get this off my chest. 

Parents
  • NAS88822 said:
    Anyway, along with that we were told the he was aggressive and violent and talks about gun play and killing, to which we responded "cant be learned at home as we do closely monitor his input as we do know his way of thinking" we were told that his behaviour starts at home and must be on us. It really and truly isn't. 

    I think this will be your single biggest hurdle to overcome - you will need to convince the authorities going forward that this has ceased to be an issue and to find out where the influence came from so you can stop it.

    Kids have an amazing ability to circumvent the restrictions we put in place. I recall as a child always being able to find ways around blocks my parents tried to put on stuff so I could find that "forbidden fruit" that they were denying to me - sometimes the thrill is just being able to prove you are smarter than them.

    There are also the times outside of home where your son interacts with others who probably play all kinds of shooting games with each other (Call of Duty type games) and because you block them at home it makes them all the more appealing.

    Some autists also like to be controvertial because it brings attention to them, even a form of cudos from some. It could be this which is driving your son to talk this way.

    In your shoes I would get a therapist for him who has experience in dealing with this issue and try to work through it this way. If nothing else they will be a professional who can advocate for your son in his appeals or, in the worst case, advise you if he is likely to become a danger.

    The schools are doing the right thing by protecting other pupils from a potential threat so your main task is to prove that he is not a threat.

Reply
  • NAS88822 said:
    Anyway, along with that we were told the he was aggressive and violent and talks about gun play and killing, to which we responded "cant be learned at home as we do closely monitor his input as we do know his way of thinking" we were told that his behaviour starts at home and must be on us. It really and truly isn't. 

    I think this will be your single biggest hurdle to overcome - you will need to convince the authorities going forward that this has ceased to be an issue and to find out where the influence came from so you can stop it.

    Kids have an amazing ability to circumvent the restrictions we put in place. I recall as a child always being able to find ways around blocks my parents tried to put on stuff so I could find that "forbidden fruit" that they were denying to me - sometimes the thrill is just being able to prove you are smarter than them.

    There are also the times outside of home where your son interacts with others who probably play all kinds of shooting games with each other (Call of Duty type games) and because you block them at home it makes them all the more appealing.

    Some autists also like to be controvertial because it brings attention to them, even a form of cudos from some. It could be this which is driving your son to talk this way.

    In your shoes I would get a therapist for him who has experience in dealing with this issue and try to work through it this way. If nothing else they will be a professional who can advocate for your son in his appeals or, in the worst case, advise you if he is likely to become a danger.

    The schools are doing the right thing by protecting other pupils from a potential threat so your main task is to prove that he is not a threat.

Children
No Data