Sleep and Anxiety in 10 year old son

Just out of curiosity, I'm guessing your husband is not your sons father? A side point, but this is an age a boy is usually looking to mirror their father for a sense of becoming. 

From my understanding, melatonin isn't something that should be taken every night. I used to use it when travelling, but at one point it started causing heart palpitations, as it can offset hormone balance, and that balance regulates one's whole system including heart rate. 

Are there other ideas to try? Could the kids sleep in the same room for a bit? night time is when we finally stop and we're forced alone with our thoughts unless there's someone else around. And for most of history humans never slept alone but in packs. The way we live today and the isolation we subject ourselves and children to is quite unnatural. Now, some of us are more naturally introverted and enjoy a great deal of time alone, but it needs to be tempered with quality time feeling connected to others and this is something most autistics struggle with - being acutely different than others in how we reason, perceive and attempt to relate with the world around us.

Perhaps you're the only person he feels he can absolutely trust and connect with. Which really says what a great mum you are! And it can be helpful to just allow them to grow at their pace and tell you when they're ready to do a thing on their own. 

But - back to being forced alone with our thoughts. We've found books are helpful at night - and a halogen lamp, as even low light LEDs are a smaller spectrum and can cause difficulty seeing contrast, even create further anxiety at night. The other thing which is helpful is to exhaust the mind. He may need to mentally take apart all kinds of depths of understanding of things from physics to philosophy: stimulating right-brain thinking around dinner time and getting deep into things he's interested in or a range of subjects can be helpful as it can shift the brain in to a sense of awe / wonder. This kind of hyper-stimulation can actually be incredibly relaxing for us and by bedtime, it might give him enjoyable thoughts to be alone with.

But as posted below, there are a good deal of studies showing that Autistics and ADHD kids have lower GABA, which is the gut-brain axis responsible for shutting down thoughts accelerating out of control. So melatonin won't fix this, nor will anti-depressants (and both can be dangerous). I take a mushroom compound which has helped a great deal as they're known for boosting GABA. But on rare occasions, only anti-anxiety drugs (Xanax) will properly help, which is specifically designed for this.

Just out of curiosity, I'm guessing your husband is not your sons father? A side point, but this is an age a boy is usually looking to mirror their father for a sense of becoming. 

From my understanding, melatonin isn't something that should be taken every night. I used to use it when travelling, but at one point it started causing heart palpitations, as it can offset hormone balance, and that balance regulates one's whole system including heart rate. 

Are there other ideas to try? Could the kids sleep in the same room for a bit? night time is when we finally stop and we're forced alone with our thoughts unless there's someone else around. And for most of history humans never slept alone but in packs. The way we live today and the isolation we subject ourselves and children to is quite unnatural. Now, some of us are more naturally introverted and enjoy a great deal of time alone, but it needs to be tempered with quality time feeling connected to others and this is something most autistics struggle with - being acutely different than others in how we reason, perceive and attempt to relate with the world around us.

Perhaps you're the only person he feels he can absolutely trust and connect with. Which really says what a great mum you are! And it can be helpful to just allow them to grow at their pace and tell you when they're ready to do a thing on their own. 

But - back to being forced alone with our thoughts. We've found books are helpful at night - and a halogen lamp, as even low light LEDs are a smaller spectrum and can cause difficulty seeing contrast, even create further anxiety at night. The other thing which is helpful is to exhaust the mind. He may need to mentally take apart all kinds of depths of understanding of things from physics to philosophy: stimulating right-brain thinking around dinner time and getting deep into things he's interested in or a range of subjects can be helpful as it can shift the brain in to a sense of awe / wonder. This kind of hyper-stimulation can actually be incredibly relaxing for us and by bedtime, it might give him enjoyable thoughts to be alone with.

But as posted below, there are a good deal of studies showing that Autistics and ADHD kids have lower GABA, which is the gut-brain axis responsible for shutting down thoughts accelerating out of control. So melatonin won't fix this, nor will anti-depressants (and both can be dangerous). I take a mushroom compound which has helped a great deal as they're known for boosting GABA. But on rare occasions, only anti-anxiety drugs (Xanax) will properly help, which is specifically designed for this.