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Burnout - 12 year old son

NAS77247

Hi,

Im new here!

My son was diagnosed in January after waiting just over 5 years. ASD and I believe PDA. His school placement broke down due to unsupported needs and we found ourselves Home Edding since December 2022. He was coming home from school having meltdowns and shutdowns lasting hours, not eating, not sleeping and wishing he wasnt here anymore.  Still not support. He has always faced school trauma so home edding isnt the be all and end all.  I am seperated from his dad and his dad has all but disowned him not believing autism is a thing!

It all started well BUT over the last few weeks he has gradually been "disappearing inside himself".  He has friends locally but is generally pushing them away and preferring an online presence.  He isn't sleeping (falling asleep around 5am, waking at 2pm).  Not communicating, not eating or drinking (only the bare minimum, he says he isn't hungry or thirst).  I am providing him with vitamins to supplement this.

Once he is up he will retreat to the computer room and basically stay there.  He does come out to go to the toilet and walk about a bit, but then straight back in.  (Taking the electronics away from his is not an option, its his only social connection with the outside world and helps him to regulate).

He doesn't want to shower and finds brushing his teeth too sensory.  We can usually get over this but recently he just can't do it.

I have tried speaking to him about how he might be feeling but he shuts down.  Just saying that he feels unwell.  He hasn't been outside in a good few weeks.  I have suggested a GP appointment or if he wants to talk to someone (it doesn;t have to be me).  He just says there is no point.

Could this be Autistic Burnout?  The more I read about it the more I feel it is.  But I don't know what to do next.

If I seek an appointment with the gp and he doesn't go I am happy to go but is this something they will diagnose.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Sharon

Parents

  • Just adding to what Iain said that sometimes depression and burnout look similar and/or can manifest at the same time. I spent much of my life from age sixteen onwards struggling with burnout and often depression too; it's not always clear where one ended and the other began.

    I think you're right that the computer/phone is his social outlet and he needs it.

    Therapy might help, but I'm not sure the NHS will be willing/able to meet his needs. And sadly many GPs are unaware of autistic burnout (it's only just being accepted in the medical community). Is private therapy an option? You really need someone who knows how to deal with an autistic pre-teen.

    He may not want to see a GP or therapist, particularly if he has PDA. I would suggest mentioning it lightly and letting him know it's on the table, but don't push it too hard.

    I'm sorry I don't have more constructive to say. I hope this helps a bit. I think he needs time to recover as much as anything, particularly if he feels "different" for being home schooled.

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  • Just adding to what Iain said that sometimes depression and burnout look similar and/or can manifest at the same time. I spent much of my life from age sixteen onwards struggling with burnout and often depression too; it's not always clear where one ended and the other began.

    I think you're right that the computer/phone is his social outlet and he needs it.

    Therapy might help, but I'm not sure the NHS will be willing/able to meet his needs. And sadly many GPs are unaware of autistic burnout (it's only just being accepted in the medical community). Is private therapy an option? You really need someone who knows how to deal with an autistic pre-teen.

    He may not want to see a GP or therapist, particularly if he has PDA. I would suggest mentioning it lightly and letting him know it's on the table, but don't push it too hard.

    I'm sorry I don't have more constructive to say. I hope this helps a bit. I think he needs time to recover as much as anything, particularly if he feels "different" for being home schooled.

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