My Sons Struggling

Being a mum of a 20 something adult male, I hate to say it, but young males might simply need an older male who's overcome similar struggles. Even a dyslexic or ADHD mentor will be empathetic and able to help. Is there anyone in the family who's also divergent? 

What does he excel at? Non-speaking or less access to vocabulary is simply an aspect of a different 'wiring'. He might be really good at geography or building things or with animals, for example. He needs something he knows he can 'win' at in a world he is becoming increasingly aware he's a complete mismatch for.  It sounds like he has recognised how he is perceived, what he is blocked from and responding as anyone would. Therapy won't fix his awareness of reality, which is that he's the odd one out. And no one who is actually unique wants to be unique. 

It might be worth it to buy a few items from the school with the logo for him, if you can. Sometimes these gestures can reflect a sense of belonging even if I'm not actually going. A mug, a jumper, a pencil case. 

But also, would he be able to join a group of some sort? A gaming club, for instance? Maybe judo or another self-focused sport where other autistics and more introverted kids might belong, as they'll be much more accepting. 

Being a mum of a 20 something adult male, I hate to say it, but young males might simply need an older male who's overcome similar struggles. Even a dyslexic or ADHD mentor will be empathetic and able to help. Is there anyone in the family who's also divergent? 

What does he excel at? Non-speaking or less access to vocabulary is simply an aspect of a different 'wiring'. He might be really good at geography or building things or with animals, for example. He needs something he knows he can 'win' at in a world he is becoming increasingly aware he's a complete mismatch for.  It sounds like he has recognised how he is perceived, what he is blocked from and responding as anyone would. Therapy won't fix his awareness of reality, which is that he's the odd one out. And no one who is actually unique wants to be unique. 

It might be worth it to buy a few items from the school with the logo for him, if you can. Sometimes these gestures can reflect a sense of belonging even if I'm not actually going. A mug, a jumper, a pencil case. 

But also, would he be able to join a group of some sort? A gaming club, for instance? Maybe judo or another self-focused sport where other autistics and more introverted kids might belong, as they'll be much more accepting. 

It’s interesting you say about a mentor as I was talking about this with a friend last week - we don’t have any older family members on the spectrum so actually maybe it’s more this kind of thing I’m looking for rather than therapy as such. I’m not wanting him to change his feelings, more just to have someone who knows how he feels to talk things through with him. His half brother (dads side so lives elsewhere) has recently been diagnosed and is only 5 and I think at the moment he sees his half brother as Autistic and thinks well I’m nothing like him - he doesn’t understand the concept of a spectrum or how age changes things. I’m jabbering on, I’m sorry … but basically I think you’re right and it’s a mentor im actually looking for! 
He does go to a club some Saturdays and during the holidays which is just for children with SEN and they have designated ASD days too. All his other extra curricular activities are all through his school. I will speak to school when they are back too and see if they can offer a buddy up with an older child or something. 

thank you for your suggestions - they really help!