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Son being so aggressive, any advice?

AbC123

Hello, 

I have posted before about my 6 and a half year old son. He has ASD. He goes from being calm to loosing control within 1 second. 

He can loose control and wrecks the house and physically hurts me, my husband and out 4 year old daughter. As adults we are fine. But today he really injured my daughter

He threw a ball for our dog. It landed by my daughters feet she picked it up and threw it. He was angry as he didn't have control of the ball. (Control is a huge issue, we cant play games where he's not in control)

He then swung my daughter around and threw her into the tuff tray. 

She had the most horrendous nose bleed. 

I felt so sick and upset. As I didn't keep her safe. 

He said he wants to kill her and I took him to his room. 

Every single day he is aggressive and physically hurts her and particularly my husband. At the weekend he wanted to get a kitchen knife to 'kill dad' and he was going to 'stab him' I had to physically keep him out the kitchen. 

After these incidents he screams for hours! 

We are on the wait for CAMHS 

But in case there is anyone out there, was there a method that works or helps?

He gets sent to his room/ looses screen time which is his treat. 

Looses magazines after a warning. If you do this again, you will not have you Friday magazine. But he's so impulsive. 

Does anyone have advice? 

I just don't know what to do. 

It's daily and I just can't leave my daughter along with him. 

When I do, she's always hurt. When I have a shower she sits in the bathroom with me. 

Thank you so much 

Xx

Parents

  • Could you try Pathological demand avoidance strategies rather than typical autism strategies and see if that helps your child. Also request assessment for ADHD. 

    My son has behaved incredibly dangerous at times putting a pillow over his younger brothers face when he was a baby, my son was around 8 years old when he done that & also taking knifes from the kitchen and threatening myself & ex partner. He often sought out revenge if he felt wronged also. He has zero understanding & patience with his younger brother and often assaults him. 


    I am not an expert but i am a parent to a PDA ADHD 13 year old & autistic 5 year old. I have to parent both children completely different.

    Autism strategies don’t work on my eldest they make thing 100 times worse.

Reply

  • Could you try Pathological demand avoidance strategies rather than typical autism strategies and see if that helps your child. Also request assessment for ADHD. 

    My son has behaved incredibly dangerous at times putting a pillow over his younger brothers face when he was a baby, my son was around 8 years old when he done that & also taking knifes from the kitchen and threatening myself & ex partner. He often sought out revenge if he felt wronged also. He has zero understanding & patience with his younger brother and often assaults him. 


    I am not an expert but i am a parent to a PDA ADHD 13 year old & autistic 5 year old. I have to parent both children completely different.

    Autism strategies don’t work on my eldest they make thing 100 times worse.

Children
  • in reply to Lau

    Is your son walking out in front of cars in order to harm himself?

    My son used to do similar but he would say things like I’m fast like flash or I’m atromg like the hulk I can smash the car before it gets me. 

    Just wanted check with you? 

    **

    my son wasn’t doing to harm himself he just didn’t understand that a car could actually kill him,

    Even now as a 13 year old he thinks he can run faster than a car. He has language but there is a massive lack of understanding there are