Son being so aggressive, any advice?

Hi ABC - 

I don't have children so I won't even begin to start giving you advice but this situation sounds extremely frightening to me, so I offer you every sympathy I can. I can't imagine what you must be going through at home.

I am particularly alarmed by two things: the fact that he is taking out his aggression on your little girl and the fact that you can't even leave him unmonitored long enough to take a shower. His physical outbursts sound really frightening, if he's capable of hitting and hurting so much at his size now, just try and fathom when he's a 20 year old and potentially still so out of control. 

I don't know what your position is but could you and your husband afford to get him specialist help privately? It feels like something that needs to be looked into ASAP rather than waiting for the creaking cogs of the system to see him, and even then, how thorough will the care be? (I doubt very).

I have always been autistic but I have never been full of rage or wanted to 'kill' anyone, plus my parents instilled far too much fear in me to lash out like you outlined, so maybe this is something more than just autism? I take lots of medications for my mental health and they really help. Perhaps if someone would look at him on a holistic level eg. take everything into consideration (not just focus on autism and only autism) they could identify areas he struggles in and even suggest a drug to help level him out? 

Please do keep reaching out for help on here, there are lots of really smart and helpful people available to chip in on all sorts of subjects. 

Sorry I don't have any first-hand advice or experience to relay to you.

Hi Autumn trees, 

Thank you for your sympathy, 

The stress takes its toll and I wish I could fix the situation or make it better. I am trying approaches but have yet to find something to help. 

My son looks forward to holidays so we always book weekend breaks and a good  week holiday so he can explore and he just loves door handles and can see and open so much in a hotel. 

We try to give him the best life. 

We did try to go private for a therapist. There is 18 months of waiting at least and most have closed their lists. 

We were happy to travel to London, but have had no luck getting him on a list shorter that 18months. 

Unless through Skype, but this isn't ideal as he doesn't have the time of day to talk to family or friends on this. 

I'd love just for someone to see him. 

No matter how many times I have said to the GP he is walking out in front of cars to ' hurt himself' saying when we are camping he wants to jump into the sea to kill himself 

No one is listening. 

So sorry to rant! 

I just feel I'm asking for professional help and getting no where

Thank you for your kind reply x

Hi Autumn trees, 

Thank you for your sympathy, 

The stress takes its toll and I wish I could fix the situation or make it better. I am trying approaches but have yet to find something to help. 

My son looks forward to holidays so we always book weekend breaks and a good  week holiday so he can explore and he just loves door handles and can see and open so much in a hotel. 

We try to give him the best life. 

We did try to go private for a therapist. There is 18 months of waiting at least and most have closed their lists. 

We were happy to travel to London, but have had no luck getting him on a list shorter that 18months. 

Unless through Skype, but this isn't ideal as he doesn't have the time of day to talk to family or friends on this. 

I'd love just for someone to see him. 

No matter how many times I have said to the GP he is walking out in front of cars to ' hurt himself' saying when we are camping he wants to jump into the sea to kill himself 

No one is listening. 

So sorry to rant! 

I just feel I'm asking for professional help and getting no where

Thank you for your kind reply x

Hey Autumn_trees. Did you get my message. I'm new to the sight and I dont know if I messaged correctly x

Hello, I will DM you now. 

It's exhausting. 

And frustrating and so sad, as all I ever wanted was a family. And I feel I can't help my children in our own home. 

Thank you xx

Christ, sounds like you're banging your head off a brick wall. It makes me so sad to hear people are desperate for help and not getting it. 

If you wanted to DM me your town/city I am happy to help reach out for local help in your area. I know as an adult with mental health concerns I am able to get help at the drop of a hat, providing I pay for it. 

Maybe take a look at https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists and see if you can find a local person? I'm afraid I don't have the foggiest clue what the provisions are for children. 

Regardless of getting help for him, which is a whole other box of frogs, can you maybe look for someone for you and your partner to speak to? This must be having a horrendous effect on you both too, and you need a lot of mental resilience to get through this. 

Good luck x