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Son being so aggressive, any advice?

AbC123

Hello, 

I have posted before about my 6 and a half year old son. He has ASD. He goes from being calm to loosing control within 1 second. 

He can loose control and wrecks the house and physically hurts me, my husband and out 4 year old daughter. As adults we are fine. But today he really injured my daughter

He threw a ball for our dog. It landed by my daughters feet she picked it up and threw it. He was angry as he didn't have control of the ball. (Control is a huge issue, we cant play games where he's not in control)

He then swung my daughter around and threw her into the tuff tray. 

She had the most horrendous nose bleed. 

I felt so sick and upset. As I didn't keep her safe. 

He said he wants to kill her and I took him to his room. 

Every single day he is aggressive and physically hurts her and particularly my husband. At the weekend he wanted to get a kitchen knife to 'kill dad' and he was going to 'stab him' I had to physically keep him out the kitchen. 

After these incidents he screams for hours! 

We are on the wait for CAMHS 

But in case there is anyone out there, was there a method that works or helps?

He gets sent to his room/ looses screen time which is his treat. 

Looses magazines after a warning. If you do this again, you will not have you Friday magazine. But he's so impulsive. 

Does anyone have advice? 

I just don't know what to do. 

It's daily and I just can't leave my daughter along with him. 

When I do, she's always hurt. When I have a shower she sits in the bathroom with me. 

Thank you so much 

Xx

Parents

  • Losing control of something causes anxiety so I am thinking he needs to be in a situation where as much as possible is predictable. As it is the summer holiday is the uncertainty making things more difficult?

    I wonder if you have a less relaxed routine at the moment? My son likes mealtimes to be predictable, at the same time and some days the same meal on the same day. If something is happening he likes to know the time in advance. When he was younger we used to plan the holidays with what would happen each day so there was as much predictability as possible and do a timetable with him. I apologize if you are already doing something like this. 

    There are charities run by parents with neurodiverse children who understand, that run courses with ideas of things to help and also do one to one support. You may be able to research this or contact a family centre or other service locally which might have information.

    Regarding CAMHS it may be worth contacting them to explain that your situation is getting particularly difficult and is there any help they can offer sooner. Do they have a call back service available? This is something we were able to do when there was a particularly difficult situation, particularly is self harming or something concerning is involved.

  • in reply to Homebird

    Hello Homebird, 

    Thank you for replying. 

    We absolutely do a timetable I make it and we draw the days together so he knows and can cross off each day. 

    Thank you though for the suggestion. 

    School mornings and after school are just as difficult unfortunately, in the summer at least the outbursts happen and I know what's wrong after school he is very upset and will scream for hours. And break things and be so upset but I don't know whats happened at school and the school often say is is fine, even if he has been sat out yet again for fighting which I hear from other children. 

    I'd love to do more courses. 

    I have managed a few but it's hard to fit in everything I will look out for some local courses 

    They don't offer a call back yet as he hasn't seen anyone yet. We have been waiting over a year for our referral. 

    Every time this things happen we see the GP and the same answer, that they will chase CAHMS 

    Thank you for replying though. I will have a look at some courses xx

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  • in reply to Homebird

    Hello Homebird, 

    Thank you for replying. 

    We absolutely do a timetable I make it and we draw the days together so he knows and can cross off each day. 

    Thank you though for the suggestion. 

    School mornings and after school are just as difficult unfortunately, in the summer at least the outbursts happen and I know what's wrong after school he is very upset and will scream for hours. And break things and be so upset but I don't know whats happened at school and the school often say is is fine, even if he has been sat out yet again for fighting which I hear from other children. 

    I'd love to do more courses. 

    I have managed a few but it's hard to fit in everything I will look out for some local courses 

    They don't offer a call back yet as he hasn't seen anyone yet. We have been waiting over a year for our referral. 

    Every time this things happen we see the GP and the same answer, that they will chase CAHMS 

    Thank you for replying though. I will have a look at some courses xx

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