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How to prepare daughter for huge changes at school in September when you don't know yourself

ParentingAutism

Last day today for her, she didn't go in. Staff said there was emergency repairs on the road therefore couldn't get a car out to her. In the end she decided to phone the school asking for a check in then got the bus to the town her school is in to say goodbye to a teacher who was leaving.

I have been emailed about changes happening during the holidays ready for September. They are doing a new layout of the school and new timetable layouts and new staff including current staff changing teaching roles to teach something else. I can't explain the changes much because you need to know what before was like to know what the new will be. 

I don't really know what's happening myself and she keeps asking questions which I can't answer so she's getting upset and anxious. She will also be getting the bus to and from school which is a new change aswell. 

I have said to her that she can look at the school throughout the holidays, once or twice a week so she can see the gradual change from outside the school and also to practice getting the bus again, getting into a routine. 

How can I help her exactly because I have no clue what is going on except that this change is absolutely massive and I'm not even joking or exaggerating. It's going to be a tough summer holidays the way we are going. 

Parents
  • ParentingAutism said:
    I don't really know what's happening myself and she keeps asking questions which I can't answer so she's getting upset and anxious. S

    Do you know when you will know - maybe use that as the thing she can have as a certainty.

    ParentingAutism said:
    How can I help her exactly because I have no clue what is going on except that this change is absolutely massive

    Maybe try working through the change as a story with her - draw analogies of the ugly duckling turning into a swan, the egg opening to reveal a chick, a tiny acorn growing into a mighty oak etc.

    Make the mystery of the unknown intriguing - something exciting to look forward to.

    Could you maybe ask the school to arrange a visit to see progress and get "VIP" access to make her feel special and a part of the change?

    I found a few other links that may have nuggets of wisdom for you to consider:

    https://afineparent.com/positive-parenting-faq/cope-with-change.html

    https://jillkuzma.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/teaching-kids-about-change-using-the-5-point-scale/

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you for the links, very helpful. 

    Iain said:
    Do you know when you will know - maybe use that as the thing she can have as a certainty.

    Over the summer the school is having a new layout and changes ready for the first day back in September. That is all we know. We have a list of new and current staff and what they will be teaching. Also the new layout of the school but that is it. She has so many questions I just can't answer and the school will not respond to calls, messages, emails until the first day back. That is why I said she can get the bus and see what is happening. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism
    ParentingAutism said:
    Over the summer the school is having a new layout and changes ready for the first day back in September. That is all we know.

    <engaging problem solving mode>

    I can think of a few approaches to this, but all take some effort:

    1 - contact the council who probably own the school. Explain the situation briefly and say that it would make a tremendous difference if you could find this out or get 10 mins with the person in charge of the project to speak to you and your daughter.

    There may be someone there willing to help.

    2 - Try reaching out to the board of trustees of the school to try the same thing.

    3 - contact the local press, tell them the story and ask if they can suggest anything. They may want to do a "human interest" piece on this as they love this sort of thing and they would probably have different ways of getting access to the project info / project managers. Everyone likes a positive story in their local paper after all.

    4 - if you know other parents whose kids want the same sort of thing, maybe get together and put in a letter in all your names to the school - it may carry more weight.

    I would think about structuring the questions you have so they answer the questions your daughter has and give a more complete picture of the changes for others - it would make this info much more appetising to share amongst other parents to save the school time in disseminating it.

    In your appeals to these people I would emphasise that your daughter is disabled - this may be manipulative but it should pull at the heart strings of some involved.

    That's all I can think of now - time for breakfast for me now.

Reply
  • in reply to ParentingAutism
    ParentingAutism said:
    Over the summer the school is having a new layout and changes ready for the first day back in September. That is all we know.

    <engaging problem solving mode>

    I can think of a few approaches to this, but all take some effort:

    1 - contact the council who probably own the school. Explain the situation briefly and say that it would make a tremendous difference if you could find this out or get 10 mins with the person in charge of the project to speak to you and your daughter.

    There may be someone there willing to help.

    2 - Try reaching out to the board of trustees of the school to try the same thing.

    3 - contact the local press, tell them the story and ask if they can suggest anything. They may want to do a "human interest" piece on this as they love this sort of thing and they would probably have different ways of getting access to the project info / project managers. Everyone likes a positive story in their local paper after all.

    4 - if you know other parents whose kids want the same sort of thing, maybe get together and put in a letter in all your names to the school - it may carry more weight.

    I would think about structuring the questions you have so they answer the questions your daughter has and give a more complete picture of the changes for others - it would make this info much more appetising to share amongst other parents to save the school time in disseminating it.

    In your appeals to these people I would emphasise that your daughter is disabled - this may be manipulative but it should pull at the heart strings of some involved.

    That's all I can think of now - time for breakfast for me now.

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