My 9 year old has recently been diagnosed with ASD after having been assumed to have ADHD from a couple of years ago. He has always been neuro divergent and while my parents have often shown a lack of understanding, expecting him simply to "behave", I thought the diagnosis would lead them to change their stance.
The opposite has been the case. We have felt that they continue to be judgmental, accuse him of being "rude" because he is a fussy or sloppy eater and expect me to use harsh discipline for all his tantrums. Even when I told them about his condition they were dismissive. They don't seem to understand it and being with them I feel he is not in a nurturing environment.
We live in Spain and so returning to the UK sometimes notice a culture shock. In Spain there is less expectation on kids to just do what they are told, smile when they are spoken to and say please and thank you for everything. Over there if I insist he does it, people just shrug it off and say, "let him be". They acknowledge his strengths and encourage him to progress. However over here we feel he is constantly being observed, criticised and of course we, as parents, feel bad, as if they are judging our own parenting skills.
Is this something other people have experienced and can they offer any advice on how to gain greater acceptance or at least understanding of his condition among those closest to us? Thanks.
