• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 75 subscribers
  • Views 2395 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Daughter recently diagnosed and family member rejecting the diagnosis

NAS87577

Hi everyone. I’m new to the community. My 8 year old daughter was diagnosed with autism and ADHD this week. We suspected she may be on the spectrum and paid for private testing as the wait with CAMHS is up to 18 months where we live. Still, we were shocked when it was confirmed. I guess I had been stressing myself out thinking they would just say her behaviours were down to something we had done or not done as parents. I know that’s crazy, but perhaps I was just trying to avoid reality. I’m at a bit of a loss at the moment waiting for the full report with the recommendations on how we and her school can support her. What’s made it worse is that my sister, who my daughter is very close to, has basically said the person who tested my daughter clearly doesn’t know what’s she talking about and that my daughter is a normal 8 year old who we have now labelled and will make paranoid. Now I'm worrying that what she has said is true. I researched alot before I chose the organisation to conduct the tests and they seemed good as they specialised in autism in girls. Now I am doubting it all. My sister has told her children that my daughter isn’t really autistic or have adhd and so they basically didn’t reply when my little girl told her favourite cousin she was autistic. For me, that seemed like a massive rejection of my daughter who wanted to tell her cousin because she adores him. I really needed my sister to be there to support me and my daughter but it seems she won’t be, even though we have been so close throughout our lives. My sister works in a secondary school and fiercely supports the SEN children she works with. This just makes it so much more difficult to understand why she is rejecting my daughter’s diagnosis. I just wanted to get it off my chest and ask how other people have dealt with their families rejecting a diagnosis in this way? Also, I’m a bit overwhelmed with all the information out there, and how I can help my daughter to understand her diagnosis. Not sure where to start really. Can anyone offer some advice?

Parents

  • Getting an autism diagnosis as a female is already difficult. They doctors wouldn’t just give her a diagnosis for no reason so there’s no need to worry. Her diagnosis is valid and anyone that questions it is weird. If it was a psychical disorder the reaction would have been more accepting so why is it any different when it’s a hidden disability. For her to say that the doctors don’t know what they’re talking about is strange. Autism is a spectrum disorder and impacts people differently. Just because she works with SEN students doesn’t make her champion autism detector.  Your daughter could be really good at masking which is why it’s hard for your sister to acknowledge her autism but even then it’s not her position to say that the doctors don’t know what they’re talking about as she is simply not qualified to do so. You have every right to feel the way you do. As she works with children with autism she surely understands the daily challenges they face which may be the reason as to why she’s having a hard time accepting your daughters diagnosis. It can sometimes be hard for loved ones to process new diagnoses. Maybe she’s cared or maybe she’s just a ***. Give her some time and then maybe have a conversation with her. If she continues to reject your daughter than maybe your kid doesn’t need to be around her. As sad as it is your daughter matters more and she should be in spaces where she’s fully accepted. Your daughter has you and you have her together both of you can figure out the best ways in which to help meet her daily challenges and needs. It’s okay to be scared but don’t let that fear consume you as her autism is going to go away you can’t be scared forever learn to embrace it and love all the tiny little stims and random facts and just everything about her autism. You’ve got this and you’re not alone, your daughter isn’t either for everyone one person rejecting her there’s a billion more accepting and rooting for her. Me being one of them 

Reply

  • Getting an autism diagnosis as a female is already difficult. They doctors wouldn’t just give her a diagnosis for no reason so there’s no need to worry. Her diagnosis is valid and anyone that questions it is weird. If it was a psychical disorder the reaction would have been more accepting so why is it any different when it’s a hidden disability. For her to say that the doctors don’t know what they’re talking about is strange. Autism is a spectrum disorder and impacts people differently. Just because she works with SEN students doesn’t make her champion autism detector.  Your daughter could be really good at masking which is why it’s hard for your sister to acknowledge her autism but even then it’s not her position to say that the doctors don’t know what they’re talking about as she is simply not qualified to do so. You have every right to feel the way you do. As she works with children with autism she surely understands the daily challenges they face which may be the reason as to why she’s having a hard time accepting your daughters diagnosis. It can sometimes be hard for loved ones to process new diagnoses. Maybe she’s cared or maybe she’s just a ***. Give her some time and then maybe have a conversation with her. If she continues to reject your daughter than maybe your kid doesn’t need to be around her. As sad as it is your daughter matters more and she should be in spaces where she’s fully accepted. Your daughter has you and you have her together both of you can figure out the best ways in which to help meet her daily challenges and needs. It’s okay to be scared but don’t let that fear consume you as her autism is going to go away you can’t be scared forever learn to embrace it and love all the tiny little stims and random facts and just everything about her autism. You’ve got this and you’re not alone, your daughter isn’t either for everyone one person rejecting her there’s a billion more accepting and rooting for her. Me being one of them 

Children