Is my 3 year old autistic? I’m feeling very alone.

Noticing a Short attention span and this "quick/impulsive" Socialising, add your being ADHD, it sounds like you can start there! From my understanding the 2 major fundamental things ADHD and Autistics (Au) share are the Monotropic brain (capacity for hyper-focus and the hyper-connexions we make) and our "heightened" sense-perceptions, or inability to dull the senses to the same capacity as Neurotypical peers. While a big difference being most Au may need to focus on one thing at a time to flourish and many ADHD'rs can multitask with exquisite skill, Communication difference is what tends to make autistics unique. However, in my experience, ADHD individuals appear to speak both Non-Autistic and Autistic fluently

Milestones are created according to what's 'Typical;. When I was young, I was reading and doing arithmetic before age 4 at a year 2 level. But I don't set the pace for 'milestones'. In reality, everyone develops at their own pace and some just memorise what they're supposed to understand without really understanding.

For most of human existence, we haven't had toys. They were an invention for the wealthy. In more difficult times or even in farming, children start working too young. In an ideal situation, a child is out in the field with their family and 'helping' and enjoying the process. There is another side to this. Many toys aren't fun. They don't function. As adults, we quite like things which actually do a thing. Autistic play is imaginative, in a different way than non-autistic play. We might not pretend to be Social adults in a social environment dictating the rules. Instead, we might prefer faucets that actually give us water, and to build a machine that does something useful with that water. We might engage with an object in a real and meaningful way, "playing" mechanic or allowing our senses to be impacted, studying the object, "pretending" to be the researcher, observer. The imagination is taken on a journey through how we are internally impacted by a thing, the sense of it, working out how and what. Perhaps build a garden with him. Construct real things with him? Find out if he's more interested in taking a thing apart or constructing it. But I wouldn't tell him how to play. This child psychologist has really good posts for all children: https://www.facebook.com/peter.gray.3572

It sounds like he will need to understand how to afford boundaries with others. ADHD and Au are impacted intensely by our senses and this includes internal feelings of connexion. Some practical rules of engagement, as exemplified by you could be useful. 

Noticing a Short attention span and this "quick/impulsive" Socialising, add your being ADHD, it sounds like you can start there! From my understanding the 2 major fundamental things ADHD and Autistics (Au) share are the Monotropic brain (capacity for hyper-focus and the hyper-connexions we make) and our "heightened" sense-perceptions, or inability to dull the senses to the same capacity as Neurotypical peers. While a big difference being most Au may need to focus on one thing at a time to flourish and many ADHD'rs can multitask with exquisite skill, Communication difference is what tends to make autistics unique. However, in my experience, ADHD individuals appear to speak both Non-Autistic and Autistic fluently

Milestones are created according to what's 'Typical;. When I was young, I was reading and doing arithmetic before age 4 at a year 2 level. But I don't set the pace for 'milestones'. In reality, everyone develops at their own pace and some just memorise what they're supposed to understand without really understanding.

For most of human existence, we haven't had toys. They were an invention for the wealthy. In more difficult times or even in farming, children start working too young. In an ideal situation, a child is out in the field with their family and 'helping' and enjoying the process. There is another side to this. Many toys aren't fun. They don't function. As adults, we quite like things which actually do a thing. Autistic play is imaginative, in a different way than non-autistic play. We might not pretend to be Social adults in a social environment dictating the rules. Instead, we might prefer faucets that actually give us water, and to build a machine that does something useful with that water. We might engage with an object in a real and meaningful way, "playing" mechanic or allowing our senses to be impacted, studying the object, "pretending" to be the researcher, observer. The imagination is taken on a journey through how we are internally impacted by a thing, the sense of it, working out how and what. Perhaps build a garden with him. Construct real things with him? Find out if he's more interested in taking a thing apart or constructing it. But I wouldn't tell him how to play. This child psychologist has really good posts for all children: https://www.facebook.com/peter.gray.3572

It sounds like he will need to understand how to afford boundaries with others. ADHD and Au are impacted intensely by our senses and this includes internal feelings of connexion. Some practical rules of engagement, as exemplified by you could be useful.