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Personal space

L56

Hey

How do i explain to my mother-in-law that personal space is important to my son without offending her?? She is a very touchy feely person anyway, but each time she visits she is constantly grabbing at both my kids and holding them tightly so they can't escape. It's awful to watch anyway because it looks aggressive sometimes, but it's particularly difficult for my aspie son who looks REALLY uncomfortable. I know she loves them and wants to cuddle, who doesn't with little ones, but i feel it's verging on dis-respectful. My OH has addressed this with her before, but it alomost feels she has gotten worse to spite. I don't want to make her feel like we are trying to stand in the way of her having a close relationship with them, but she needs to understand it's inappropriate when my son has issue with touch and sensory issues.

Thanks Again xx

Parents

  • Hi 

    Thank you for your input they are both really helpful posts.

    I quandered over it for ages and read your posts before i decided we really needed to explain to her why it's so important. Then after a visit Jack started to get upset because he didn't like the way she grabs him. I had a chat with my OH, who admitted he hadn't approached it with her!! but understood that we now need to chat with her about it. I think we can approach it sensitively, if we explain the reasons why Jack doesn't like it, and that we aren't saying she can't touch him, just to ask him first and respect him if he says no. The problem half the time is that she comes up from behind and grabs him in a lock because she knows often he will say no. I understand that she feels it is a way of showing her love, there are times that i sometimes wish i could just sit and cuddle him, the best i get a him perching on my lap lol but we just have to find other ways to show Jack our love and affection.

    Thank you again xx

Reply

  • Hi 

    Thank you for your input they are both really helpful posts.

    I quandered over it for ages and read your posts before i decided we really needed to explain to her why it's so important. Then after a visit Jack started to get upset because he didn't like the way she grabs him. I had a chat with my OH, who admitted he hadn't approached it with her!! but understood that we now need to chat with her about it. I think we can approach it sensitively, if we explain the reasons why Jack doesn't like it, and that we aren't saying she can't touch him, just to ask him first and respect him if he says no. The problem half the time is that she comes up from behind and grabs him in a lock because she knows often he will say no. I understand that she feels it is a way of showing her love, there are times that i sometimes wish i could just sit and cuddle him, the best i get a him perching on my lap lol but we just have to find other ways to show Jack our love and affection.

    Thank you again xx

Children
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