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Personal space

L56

Hey

How do i explain to my mother-in-law that personal space is important to my son without offending her?? She is a very touchy feely person anyway, but each time she visits she is constantly grabbing at both my kids and holding them tightly so they can't escape. It's awful to watch anyway because it looks aggressive sometimes, but it's particularly difficult for my aspie son who looks REALLY uncomfortable. I know she loves them and wants to cuddle, who doesn't with little ones, but i feel it's verging on dis-respectful. My OH has addressed this with her before, but it alomost feels she has gotten worse to spite. I don't want to make her feel like we are trying to stand in the way of her having a close relationship with them, but she needs to understand it's inappropriate when my son has issue with touch and sensory issues.

Thanks Again xx

Parents

  • Hi, it's a difficult 1, isn't it.  Saying that it needs to be sorted out because it's not fair, esp to your aspie son.  How did she react to what your OH said, do you think she understood or basically ignored things because she doesn't "get" autism.  As I don't know what was said all I can do in this post is say what I wd have sd which is "he is very sensitive to touch + it can be painful for him, whether that touch is light or a squeeze or anything in between. He doesn't experience touch the same way as we do because he is autistic + this sense is heightened.  He finds it very uncomfortable + as his parents we don't touch him in this way ourselves."  Yes, I know it's a minefield, offence cd easily occur but as you say it's the children that matter the most.  In the end she just loves them + wants to show it despite what's been said.  I don't know what other sensory issues there are so all you can do is think of different ways of explaining it to her, such as others don't do this because of the issues so she doesn't take it personally.  Gd luck!

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  • Hi, it's a difficult 1, isn't it.  Saying that it needs to be sorted out because it's not fair, esp to your aspie son.  How did she react to what your OH said, do you think she understood or basically ignored things because she doesn't "get" autism.  As I don't know what was said all I can do in this post is say what I wd have sd which is "he is very sensitive to touch + it can be painful for him, whether that touch is light or a squeeze or anything in between. He doesn't experience touch the same way as we do because he is autistic + this sense is heightened.  He finds it very uncomfortable + as his parents we don't touch him in this way ourselves."  Yes, I know it's a minefield, offence cd easily occur but as you say it's the children that matter the most.  In the end she just loves them + wants to show it despite what's been said.  I don't know what other sensory issues there are so all you can do is think of different ways of explaining it to her, such as others don't do this because of the issues so she doesn't take it personally.  Gd luck!

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