Has anyone got any ideas or advice about how I can help my daughter with her poor self image. She's a teenager and really concerned about how she looks. She won't leave the house because she doesn't want to be seen. She won't talk to a counsellor and tells me that I am her counsellor. I have bought lots of self help books and suggested websites but she says that those make her cringe.
It's quite telling she feels safe around you! Way to be the best mum 
Here's a practical fix: Beauty is HARD WORK. It requires learning manners and growing one's character, integration of my deepest truths (below what seems true) and my actions/ words. It requires intentionality, as well - learning to reason, interrogating my bias and learning that Pause which a yoga class can teach us in a moment to reconnect to our vulnerable self, give what is appropriate and afford dignity in what we do.
But it's more than this in a society which judges on first impression. It can take years to find the right colouring and countless magazines to find the right style. One could go to the library and start to exhume the shapes and forms of the last 100 centuries of designers. And once you have torn a hundred pages or photo copied them and taped them to the wall, the exhausting problem of navigating charity shops and budgeting for a few pieces from boutiques can take more time than imagined. But this is how the head of a wardrobe department works.
And then it's make up. Which I'd have never managed on my own. Discovering one doesn't need much. But brows need waxing and a hair cut shapes or ruins the face. If you can, spend time with different make up artists. Play with features and shapes.
Both can happen simultaneously. Internally and external. Maintain hydration, take a supplement, eat for your health not anyone else's. And self help is good. But indulging in philosophy and art is better. Self help only matters if it contains practical advice and ancient wisdom. The Artists Way and https://www.themarginalian.org/ can be a useful start.
It's quite telling she feels safe around you! Way to be the best mum
Here's a practical fix: Beauty is HARD WORK. It requires learning manners and growing one's character, integration of my deepest truths (below what seems true) and my actions/ words. It requires intentionality, as well - learning to reason, interrogating my bias and learning that Pause which a yoga class can teach us in a moment to reconnect to our vulnerable self, give what is appropriate and afford dignity in what we do.
But it's more than this in a society which judges on first impression. It can take years to find the right colouring and countless magazines to find the right style. One could go to the library and start to exhume the shapes and forms of the last 100 centuries of designers. And once you have torn a hundred pages or photo copied them and taped them to the wall, the exhausting problem of navigating charity shops and budgeting for a few pieces from boutiques can take more time than imagined. But this is how the head of a wardrobe department works.
And then it's make up. Which I'd have never managed on my own. Discovering one doesn't need much. But brows need waxing and a hair cut shapes or ruins the face. If you can, spend time with different make up artists. Play with features and shapes.
Both can happen simultaneously. Internally and external. Maintain hydration, take a supplement, eat for your health not anyone else's. And self help is good. But indulging in philosophy and art is better. Self help only matters if it contains practical advice and ancient wisdom. The Artists Way and https://www.themarginalian.org/ can be a useful start.
