• Replies 20 replies
  • Subscribers 73 subscribers
  • Views 3358 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Is this autistic meltdown or am I just unstable

Lau

I’m going to walk through a my day 

1. Woke up, my youngest child went to school no issues. My eldest stays home.

2. I couldn’t face today because of the weather. I feel lots of pressure to have “positive productive days” when it’s sunny. I closed my curtains then I can’t see the sky and I made hot tea. 

3. I fell back asleep for 2 hours and woke at 11am feeling really guilty that I wasted my morning by sleeping. 

4. I pulled myself together Got showered,dressed and went to get some food shopping which I really struggle with. The meals I had planned in my notes for the next two days I couldn’t get. The lady said the deliveries were delayed. I felt really annoyed that I had drove a bit further than usual to buy these specific items of food but I managed. I went else where and got some things. 

5. My eldest went to cinema with his carer. I made dinner for myself and my other son. I didn’t enjoy this as it wasn’t what I had planned. Then we Went for a long walk with our dog had great fun in the local school playground they have lots of climbing frames my son loves. 

6. My eldest son came back from his support with his carer. I started the bed time routine for my youngest. Which was interrupted by son’s father. He came to the house and my youngest was so excited I let him in and they played nicely but it got more loud and rowdy, they were screaming and crashing of cars. Then they are wrestling and my sons screaming. The dogs barking. I keep reminding everyone to calm down as it’s late. The noise is getting to much for me. 

7. My sons dad is in his work clothes which I hate as they are dusty and messy it makes me feel dirty being around him. I start to feel my eyes itching and I say it’s the dust from your clothes are making feel dirty he says it’s all in your head just calm down. I washed my hands and face but it continues bother me as I can feel the dust on all of my skin. 

8. He rips open a multi pack of Coke Zero and the cans roll out of the fridge onto the floor. The box has perforated edges which means he doesn’t have to rip open the full box. Now the box is ruined.

9. I burst out crying and he says oh here we go. You really need to chill out. I said to him I’ve said to you multiple times can you be quiet, I don’t want the kids screaming and running around. Your making me feel itchy with your work clothes and can you stop minimising my emotions, stop saying me feeling overwhelmed is me “freaking out”

10. I completely break down at this point. He says okay im sorry I will go but You really need to put big girl pants on and stop this, this is what a family is. I say no it’s not, when your in the house it’s madness.

Sometimes I think maybe I am unstable and I’m not autistic. Maybe I am just mad for not being able to manage: 

Parents

  • Hi LAU, I'm really sorry to hear about your difficulties. I'm by no means an expert and also very new to this myself but this does sound like a meltdown to me. I have similar experiences where sometimes I wake up and things are just a little more sensitive than normal. It's always sound for me. I can hear the cars more. People talking is louder and more jumbled. I get frustrated and stressed easier like I'm a little bit on the edge. And, if things start to go wrong, it can lead to me having a meltdown later in the day. This also presents as a lot of uncontrollable crying. 

    What I want to add is that whether or not he means it, your son's Dad's comments are hurtful. Your feelings and emotions are valid regardless of whether or not he understands them. 

    For a long time I also thought I was mad for seemingly 'going off the rails' for random things, or having disproportionate emotional responses (to an outsider). So you're not alone there. 

    Writing out your day like this could help you to identify your triggers. Ultimately, it is ok to act in your self-interest if you need to prevent a meltdown. For example, if you needed to go sod it with dinner ingredients and get a take out instead - or go for a walk when your son's Dad was round to get some peace. 

    Here's the link to the NAS guide on meltdowns - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences 

    Go gentle, be kind to yourself, and take care. 

  • in reply to PetitePip

    I feel like a lot of my triggers are dismissed as me being moody or completely irrational. I will say I’m feeling really overwhelmed at the moment or this is getting a bit much for me to let people gently know that I’m struggling with the environment or the conversation. My sons dad takes it as some sort of attack and feels that I’m always moaning at him or dismissing him.

    I try to be gentle with myself and have low demand days when Im feeling more sensitive. It’s really hard to get him to understand these days are vital in supporting my mental health. 

    Once I got both children in there rooms settled and my sons dad had left. I wrote the post on NAS and I just felt so peaceful just being alone with my cat & dog.

    Thank you for your message of support. 

Reply
  • in reply to PetitePip

    I feel like a lot of my triggers are dismissed as me being moody or completely irrational. I will say I’m feeling really overwhelmed at the moment or this is getting a bit much for me to let people gently know that I’m struggling with the environment or the conversation. My sons dad takes it as some sort of attack and feels that I’m always moaning at him or dismissing him.

    I try to be gentle with myself and have low demand days when Im feeling more sensitive. It’s really hard to get him to understand these days are vital in supporting my mental health. 

    Once I got both children in there rooms settled and my sons dad had left. I wrote the post on NAS and I just felt so peaceful just being alone with my cat & dog.

    Thank you for your message of support. 

Children