• Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 70 subscribers
  • Views 1364 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Advice needed

NAS86454

Hi, we are still waiting for a diagnosis of autism for our ten year old son. He has been masking for some years and has been treated for mental health issues but over the last year, certain behaviours have become more and more apparent. So we sent off for assessments. 
We recently had a mental health assessment with CAHMS and were surprised when the counsellor came out with the fact that he might be autistic in front of our son. We had still been gently preparing him but she just came out with and he said:”I could be autistic?” And she said yes, but it could also be other things, like adhd etc He was absolutely fine with it and took it really well initially. 
However, since that appointment he just seems to be really struggling (meltdowns, etc) we don’t know whether this is him trying to deal with it, or if he is now able to be who he really is.

CAHMS sent us on our way with no further help. All we have is the internet to help us and we are struggling. Has anyone else experienced this? 

Parents

  • But just to be clear CAHMS has referred him for an assessment?

  • in reply to Peter

    So sorry for the late reply! I thought I would get an email if someone responded.

    The school suggested we refer him, which we did back in July 2022. So it was a self-referral by parents to CAHMS. We’ve seen more and more behaviours emerging over time.

    During the CAHMS assessment the counsellor said that we were definitely “looking at a neurodivergent brain here” and her report has described him as a ten year old boy with autistic traits and an anxious presentation. He already had a years CBT through Barnardo’s, so CAHMS say they can’t do anything, which is why there is no further help.

    We have to wait on the assessment. Although I imagine even if/when he gets diagnosed it’s not going to change anything. We just have to try to learn how to parent an autistic child and it seems the internet is the only way to do that! 

    Thanks so much for your response.

Reply
  • in reply to Peter

    So sorry for the late reply! I thought I would get an email if someone responded.

    The school suggested we refer him, which we did back in July 2022. So it was a self-referral by parents to CAHMS. We’ve seen more and more behaviours emerging over time.

    During the CAHMS assessment the counsellor said that we were definitely “looking at a neurodivergent brain here” and her report has described him as a ten year old boy with autistic traits and an anxious presentation. He already had a years CBT through Barnardo’s, so CAHMS say they can’t do anything, which is why there is no further help.

    We have to wait on the assessment. Although I imagine even if/when he gets diagnosed it’s not going to change anything. We just have to try to learn how to parent an autistic child and it seems the internet is the only way to do that! 

    Thanks so much for your response.

Children
  • in reply to Peter

    Yes, that’s correct we are waiting for the ASD assessment. We self referred July 2022 as the school recommended.

    I think he’s trying to figure it all out and perhaps that’s why he’s struggling more at the moment.

    I would never expect him to conform to the way the world is, get him to think differently or try to cure the autism. I just want to know how I can best support him, which I guess I thought mental health therapies would help with that. But you’re right, it’s the people around him that need to adapt. Including us! 

  • in reply to NAS86454
    NAS86454 said:
    We have to wait on the assessment. Although I imagine even if/when he gets diagnosed it’s not going to change anything. We just have to try to learn how to parent an autistic child and it seems the internet is the only way to do that! 

    By wait I assume you mean you are on a waiting list for an assessment?

    I think you might need to shift your point of view. Therapy can help with the mental health issues caused by the autistic mind rubbing against a society that doesn't understand it. But it can't 'cure' autism or reduce autistic traits.

    Now he knows he's autistic the things he wrote off as coincidences or bad luck he's now probably labelling as autism. You've heard the phrase ignorance is bliss? Before when other kids snubbed him or teachers treated him unfairly he probably called it bad luck. Now he wonders if it's the autism ... and it probably is.

    You need to think less about how to get him to think differently and more about how to get the people around him to treat him differently.