bad mum

At the minute i feel like the worst parent on the planet. My 11 year old has re-started having melt downs. I love him to bits but i have to admit i dread him coming in from school and even more so the weekends. The slightest thing seems to set him off and i have to admit it is getting worse. The rule of the house is "if he is happy and getting what he wants everything is fine". I have family but am having the issue of my parents tell me i make things worse by ignoring his outbursts. I have been told i am ruining his life by getting him assessed, but as his mum i feel i have to do everything i can do to help him in the future. any advice would be greatfully accepted

Parents
  •  I've been told to 'BUT OUT' now that mum is taking over supporting girl and I mean girl nicely whom I have just after 3 years managed to achieve NHS referral. Mum and my partner DAD never felt the need to seek support as she just presented over the years with various diverse issues. School didn't help but apparently nursery observed an inability to integrate at the age of 3. I feel so frustrated that nobody has tackled these issues. We now have a girl who lives with dad not mum and literally exists. She has one friend a considerably older man with apparent adhd, there is no constant motivation, support, teaching, nothing. Dad has now acknowledged his connection with the spectrum and is seeking help with anxiety, I had to move out as the tension became too much for all considered. My tantrum is I want her in her own place fully supported so we can help her develop and to be honest so I can focus on poor dad. Together they create an atmosphere of co existence but then scream every few weeks when tensions come to a head. Mum has no room, she has considered removing her because of my persistance in seeking help but not actually done it. She asked when they attended the hospital......'so why do we need to come here, we have a diagnosis what is this for?' I believe she is embarrassed by her daughter and I know I have been blamed for opening a can of worms but surely I'm not that bad? oh by the way girl, is 25 years old.

Reply
  •  I've been told to 'BUT OUT' now that mum is taking over supporting girl and I mean girl nicely whom I have just after 3 years managed to achieve NHS referral. Mum and my partner DAD never felt the need to seek support as she just presented over the years with various diverse issues. School didn't help but apparently nursery observed an inability to integrate at the age of 3. I feel so frustrated that nobody has tackled these issues. We now have a girl who lives with dad not mum and literally exists. She has one friend a considerably older man with apparent adhd, there is no constant motivation, support, teaching, nothing. Dad has now acknowledged his connection with the spectrum and is seeking help with anxiety, I had to move out as the tension became too much for all considered. My tantrum is I want her in her own place fully supported so we can help her develop and to be honest so I can focus on poor dad. Together they create an atmosphere of co existence but then scream every few weeks when tensions come to a head. Mum has no room, she has considered removing her because of my persistance in seeking help but not actually done it. She asked when they attended the hospital......'so why do we need to come here, we have a diagnosis what is this for?' I believe she is embarrassed by her daughter and I know I have been blamed for opening a can of worms but surely I'm not that bad? oh by the way girl, is 25 years old.

Children
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