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bad mum

leolibramum

At the minute i feel like the worst parent on the planet. My 11 year old has re-started having melt downs. I love him to bits but i have to admit i dread him coming in from school and even more so the weekends. The slightest thing seems to set him off and i have to admit it is getting worse. The rule of the house is "if he is happy and getting what he wants everything is fine". I have family but am having the issue of my parents tell me i make things worse by ignoring his outbursts. I have been told i am ruining his life by getting him assessed, but as his mum i feel i have to do everything i can do to help him in the future. any advice would be greatfully accepted

Parents

  • My response would be, in light of what I've said above, find out what causes his underlying stress, and see if, by means of explaining things, giving reassurance etc., you can reduce the pressure he is under.

    This "treading on eggshells" for fear of setting off small triggers is all wrong (to me, at any rate - my perspective is limited on this).

    Before we had diagnosis in childhood, when all sorts of horrible treatments were being deployed, because the scientists thought it was early onset schizophrenia, and such-like, young people on the spectrum certainly werent being kept happy all the time.

    The theory behind intervention in childhood is to try to reduce the environmental injury, and its long term effects, as well as to help young people prepare to cope better in adulthood (whether indeed that's realistic).

    I'm not sure that just trying to keep someone happy all the time is addressing the real issues.

Reply

  • My response would be, in light of what I've said above, find out what causes his underlying stress, and see if, by means of explaining things, giving reassurance etc., you can reduce the pressure he is under.

    This "treading on eggshells" for fear of setting off small triggers is all wrong (to me, at any rate - my perspective is limited on this).

    Before we had diagnosis in childhood, when all sorts of horrible treatments were being deployed, because the scientists thought it was early onset schizophrenia, and such-like, young people on the spectrum certainly werent being kept happy all the time.

    The theory behind intervention in childhood is to try to reduce the environmental injury, and its long term effects, as well as to help young people prepare to cope better in adulthood (whether indeed that's realistic).

    I'm not sure that just trying to keep someone happy all the time is addressing the real issues.

Children
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