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bad mum

leolibramum

At the minute i feel like the worst parent on the planet. My 11 year old has re-started having melt downs. I love him to bits but i have to admit i dread him coming in from school and even more so the weekends. The slightest thing seems to set him off and i have to admit it is getting worse. The rule of the house is "if he is happy and getting what he wants everything is fine". I have family but am having the issue of my parents tell me i make things worse by ignoring his outbursts. I have been told i am ruining his life by getting him assessed, but as his mum i feel i have to do everything i can do to help him in the future. any advice would be greatfully accepted

Parents

  • Hi - good advice from the other posters.  I'm wondering..... so could you explain as it might help other replie.....the phrase "if he's happy and getting everything he wants everything's fine".  I'm asking because, like you, if my son's happy then I'm happy.  But, if you have to go to the "ends of the earth" to make him happy, then the opposite can happen to you and/or others.  I've known a few families who've literally done whatever it takes to try to keep their autistic child, even when they're physically an adult, "happy", to the point where their own lives, needs, wishes etc are completely sidelined at best.  It can get out of hand.  Sorry if I'm on the wrong track here but it can be a "vicious circle" and incredibly difficult to maintain, apart from the fact it sometimes doesn't result in the "happiness" everyone was aiming for.  Again, if I'm mistaken then I apologiseSmile.  It's just that it can sometimes, bit by bit, happen and then it's dificult to get a balance back.

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  • Hi - good advice from the other posters.  I'm wondering..... so could you explain as it might help other replie.....the phrase "if he's happy and getting everything he wants everything's fine".  I'm asking because, like you, if my son's happy then I'm happy.  But, if you have to go to the "ends of the earth" to make him happy, then the opposite can happen to you and/or others.  I've known a few families who've literally done whatever it takes to try to keep their autistic child, even when they're physically an adult, "happy", to the point where their own lives, needs, wishes etc are completely sidelined at best.  It can get out of hand.  Sorry if I'm on the wrong track here but it can be a "vicious circle" and incredibly difficult to maintain, apart from the fact it sometimes doesn't result in the "happiness" everyone was aiming for.  Again, if I'm mistaken then I apologiseSmile.  It's just that it can sometimes, bit by bit, happen and then it's dificult to get a balance back.

Children
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