bad mum

My theory, which I cannot provide endorsement for, is that meltdowns are a "last straw" response to underlying pressure, so it is likely to be little things that trigger meltdowns, but much bigger things "below the surface" that make the little things into triggers.

A more appropriate approach, rather than trying to avoid little things (that metaphor "walking on eggshells" might fit here), is to find out about the underlying stresses (but I have to keep saying this is just my theory).

Do you know what is happening at school, and does he talk about this at all?  He may be going over issues with socialising and mixing with his peers, and because he will be slower at following the nuances and inflexions of dialogue, he will misunderstand things. Indeed his peers, realising he misunderstands, may be feeding him "lines" they know he'll worry over.

I've seen it said several times in here by parents, that their children fear being killed at school. Of course kids use exaggerated language all the time, without really thinking out what they say - "I'm going to kill you in a minute" means they are getting angry or annoyed, not that they are actually going to kill but a young person on the spectrum may have difficulty in rationalising that threat.

They may also try to trigger meltdowns. That's what happened to me almost my entire schooling. I've not had much bother with meltdowns outside of that, but my sensitivity to loud or sudden noise or sudden movement, done often enough, triggered an entertaining reaction. I was constantly at high stress, so it didn't take much to push me over the edge.

Based on my own experience, I wish I could convey to parents that they should not read too much into little incidents, which are probably not themselves the cause, but instead look deeper at why meltdowns are recurring.

My theory, which I cannot provide endorsement for, is that meltdowns are a "last straw" response to underlying pressure, so it is likely to be little things that trigger meltdowns, but much bigger things "below the surface" that make the little things into triggers.

A more appropriate approach, rather than trying to avoid little things (that metaphor "walking on eggshells" might fit here), is to find out about the underlying stresses (but I have to keep saying this is just my theory).

Do you know what is happening at school, and does he talk about this at all?  He may be going over issues with socialising and mixing with his peers, and because he will be slower at following the nuances and inflexions of dialogue, he will misunderstand things. Indeed his peers, realising he misunderstands, may be feeding him "lines" they know he'll worry over.

I've seen it said several times in here by parents, that their children fear being killed at school. Of course kids use exaggerated language all the time, without really thinking out what they say - "I'm going to kill you in a minute" means they are getting angry or annoyed, not that they are actually going to kill but a young person on the spectrum may have difficulty in rationalising that threat.

They may also try to trigger meltdowns. That's what happened to me almost my entire schooling. I've not had much bother with meltdowns outside of that, but my sensitivity to loud or sudden noise or sudden movement, done often enough, triggered an entertaining reaction. I was constantly at high stress, so it didn't take much to push me over the edge.

Based on my own experience, I wish I could convey to parents that they should not read too much into little incidents, which are probably not themselves the cause, but instead look deeper at why meltdowns are recurring.