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School refusal - when is enough enough??

NAS82507

My 8 year old daughter who is autistic has been really struggling to go to school this academic year, so since September.

For nearly two years (since schools went back post-pandemic) there’s been a gradual increase in her anxiety about going to school, starting with constantly feeling sick and culminating in two terms of panic attacks and refusal to go to school. 

We have been trying to make sure she goes in so the refusal doesn’t escalate (which has been against my gut feeling) but at the end of last term she reached total burnout and just couldn’t go in. Or when she did she was in such a state I had to go and get her. 

The school are very well-meaning but when do you just say enough is enough? The poor thing is getting totally traumatised, I can’t even say the word ‘school’ without her getting really distressed. 

Maybe in writing this I’ve convinced myself that sitting out next term would be a good idea but it seems like such a drastic move. 

I’d love to hear any advice from anyone who has been through similar, both autistic and carers. Thank you

Parents

  • I was homeschooled but working in schools I cant imagine what it must be like for autistic kids. 

    Can she not get into a special needs school? That might be a lot easier for her. If not then homeschooling is an option if you feel able to do it

  • in reply to Billy87

    I think a special school is our next move. Once the Easter holidays are over I’m going to look at a few. I’ll need the ehcp though before I can get her in anywhere. I would homeschool but I’m so worried I’d be terrible and would harm my relationship with her even more 

  • in reply to NAS82507

    I think a special school is a really good idea. I have worked in them and they are just so much more sensory friendly, most of them have sensory calming rooms for when she gets overwhelmed and the classes are much smaller and teachers are trained to deal with our needs

    My mom homeschooled me and we certainly had our ups and downs in our relationship, Im not gonna lie, but at the same time I look back on that time now and I am grateful for a lot of it. I learned so much more than I would have learned in school and I think it taught me to be an individual and be myself. I also had some really valuable friendships with other home schooled children and there were social groups for us to meet up and do joint activities 

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  • in reply to NAS82507

    I think a special school is a really good idea. I have worked in them and they are just so much more sensory friendly, most of them have sensory calming rooms for when she gets overwhelmed and the classes are much smaller and teachers are trained to deal with our needs

    My mom homeschooled me and we certainly had our ups and downs in our relationship, Im not gonna lie, but at the same time I look back on that time now and I am grateful for a lot of it. I learned so much more than I would have learned in school and I think it taught me to be an individual and be myself. I also had some really valuable friendships with other home schooled children and there were social groups for us to meet up and do joint activities 

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