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School refusal - when is enough enough??

NAS82507

My 8 year old daughter who is autistic has been really struggling to go to school this academic year, so since September.

For nearly two years (since schools went back post-pandemic) there’s been a gradual increase in her anxiety about going to school, starting with constantly feeling sick and culminating in two terms of panic attacks and refusal to go to school. 

We have been trying to make sure she goes in so the refusal doesn’t escalate (which has been against my gut feeling) but at the end of last term she reached total burnout and just couldn’t go in. Or when she did she was in such a state I had to go and get her. 

The school are very well-meaning but when do you just say enough is enough? The poor thing is getting totally traumatised, I can’t even say the word ‘school’ without her getting really distressed. 

Maybe in writing this I’ve convinced myself that sitting out next term would be a good idea but it seems like such a drastic move. 

I’d love to hear any advice from anyone who has been through similar, both autistic and carers. Thank you

Parents

  • My child is not going to school, we are looking into alternatives for them.   

    They were mainstream but now unable to handle it, due to it being:

    • Too busy. 
    • Too noisy. Can't hear the teacher.  Distracted by other children being too near to them, wont ask for tasks to be repeated if not heard. 
    • Bullying. 
    • Their Anxiety, etc.

    We are liaising with the school about alternative provisions and the SEN support staff are amazing with our child. The head SENCo is another matter - waste of space.     

    We had the most horrific meltdowns going into school.   Extreme anxiety at night.  We decided we couldn't do that to them.  Their mental health was deteriorating.  We are now in the process of getting an EHCP for our child too.  

  • in reply to NAS86208

    Eventually schools will realize just how much it is costing them to have busy  Autistic unfriendly classrooms which then require special provision to make up for it. A bit like removing all the wheelchair slopes and then employing someone to lift the kids in wheelchairs up all the steps. Nobody, autistic or not, could work properly in a noisy and busy office so why expect our children to do so. They hope been told to make classrooms "exiting" so think this means busy. Thinking 

  • in reply to VLD

    That so true! I couldn’t work in an office like that. In her classroom there’s so much stuff all over the walls and hanging from the ceiling - nightmare. 

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