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Cleaning bedroom

NAS86103

This evening my daughter (12) and I agreed to tidy her room (she hates anyone touching any of her things) so I had prepared her for all week. To avoid the usual meltdown. Starts off with her shouting saying leave the things be …. no don’t move that to the point where she will be in tears and nearly having a panic attack, holding head etc. her room is all sorted now took us 5.5 hours. Certain things in her room are always in same spot if it gets moved slightly she notices straight away and the other things it’s like she dosent care ?! Does anyone know of any easier ways to do?  (I have tried doing it when she is out of the house it made it worse and she basically trashed it) . She said in her world nothing wrong with her room and she liked it the way it was. 

even the lines from the hoover annoyed her tonight she said it was like a different carpet and hated her room sat on the stairs refusing to come into her room. I left her for a bit and then sat beside her explained why it was done and that nothing was threw out without her say so,  everything put where she wanted it etc   . Sounds really stupid but seriously am I fighting a battle I don’t need to ? Any easier way to go about it ? 

Parents

  • It could be good to think about matters of consequence: be concerned about bacteria, mould and dirt and give a wide berth for a lack of tidiness. 

    Working with and around Autistic potential and limits is the most important element. Our potential involves seeing nuance of difference, understanding seemingly invisible systems, caring about fundamental elements and these are desired in future careers. Sometimes a microscope can help or a fun little science book on how microorganisms can grow and spread. So baking soda and hoovering once a week, changing bedsheets and then a monthly detail. Peak her interest about minding the deeper complexities and never mind things being all over the place in her own room so long as it is not adding to her stress.

    As my son grew up, he started recognising that he rather appreciated how neat and clean I kept everything else and started designing his space with a bit more mindful precision. I personally don't care for things on walls other than mirrors, pans or an instrument and I don't like having more than one of any thing (if I can help it) as clutter makes life personally difficult to navigate. I don't like losing things as it's a type of interruption to a flow and ever so slightly maddening.

    With kids, focusing on the important things can help them prioritise in life. 

Reply

  • It could be good to think about matters of consequence: be concerned about bacteria, mould and dirt and give a wide berth for a lack of tidiness. 

    Working with and around Autistic potential and limits is the most important element. Our potential involves seeing nuance of difference, understanding seemingly invisible systems, caring about fundamental elements and these are desired in future careers. Sometimes a microscope can help or a fun little science book on how microorganisms can grow and spread. So baking soda and hoovering once a week, changing bedsheets and then a monthly detail. Peak her interest about minding the deeper complexities and never mind things being all over the place in her own room so long as it is not adding to her stress.

    As my son grew up, he started recognising that he rather appreciated how neat and clean I kept everything else and started designing his space with a bit more mindful precision. I personally don't care for things on walls other than mirrors, pans or an instrument and I don't like having more than one of any thing (if I can help it) as clutter makes life personally difficult to navigate. I don't like losing things as it's a type of interruption to a flow and ever so slightly maddening.

    With kids, focusing on the important things can help them prioritise in life. 

Children
  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thank you some very good points which I will look into more ….. I have printed off / made her to do lists / check lists she hates them said she’s not stupid and knows that she needs to make her bed r example but what’s the point as it just gets wrecked again. Some of her things sit perfectly 100% of the time. She loves Cactus and they sit pride of place in bedroom they get watered when they should etc…… but something like making the bed or lines on the carpet caused from a hoover will cause a meltdown ! I dunno I  feel shattered most of the time trying to work out gauge what form we are in