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Any advice. Really struggling

NAS86086

Hello I'm new here. 

My daughter(age 5) is recently diagnosed. 

I really struggle with communication with her. 

She has angry outbursts and alot of the time I have no clue what's started it. 

She never wants to talk and work through things I give her time to calm down or till she feels ready but she just blows up in my face time and time again. 

She throws things at me, hits, spits and says really spiteful things 

My patience is wearing thin and I feel defeated and useless.

We read the colour monster book time and time again which does help with what emotion she's feeling but it never goes further than that in conversation 

I always always always tell her she can talk to me about anything, anywhere, anytime.

I just feel like a terrible mum. 

Maybe what I'm doing is making it worse Pensive I would just really like some advice.

Tia x

Parents

  • Hi. Just some thoughts on what you have said, although I can see others have made some similar comments.

    I am thinking she may not know exactly why she has reacted this way so cannot tell you. 

    When my son was younger I found talking via a toy or puppet was less direct. Can you 'wonder' to the puppet/ toy about what might be difficult, but without insisting on a response because you are not speaking to her directly?

    Would having a quiet area like a pop up tent to retreat to help?

    The other thought is to divert from what is happening, so for example rather than addressing the problem at the difficult time, have something on hand to occupy yourself like blowing bubbles. When my son was young he enjoyed popping bubbles. If she chose to come over to do this you could then encourage this as it could be a non aggressive way of dealing with the frustration.

    I hope you are able to find some things that help. From experience it can take a while to find the right thing at a particular time. 

Reply

  • Hi. Just some thoughts on what you have said, although I can see others have made some similar comments.

    I am thinking she may not know exactly why she has reacted this way so cannot tell you. 

    When my son was younger I found talking via a toy or puppet was less direct. Can you 'wonder' to the puppet/ toy about what might be difficult, but without insisting on a response because you are not speaking to her directly?

    Would having a quiet area like a pop up tent to retreat to help?

    The other thought is to divert from what is happening, so for example rather than addressing the problem at the difficult time, have something on hand to occupy yourself like blowing bubbles. When my son was young he enjoyed popping bubbles. If she chose to come over to do this you could then encourage this as it could be a non aggressive way of dealing with the frustration.

    I hope you are able to find some things that help. From experience it can take a while to find the right thing at a particular time. 

Children
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