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Any advice. Really struggling

NAS86086

Hello I'm new here. 

My daughter(age 5) is recently diagnosed. 

I really struggle with communication with her. 

She has angry outbursts and alot of the time I have no clue what's started it. 

She never wants to talk and work through things I give her time to calm down or till she feels ready but she just blows up in my face time and time again. 

She throws things at me, hits, spits and says really spiteful things 

My patience is wearing thin and I feel defeated and useless.

We read the colour monster book time and time again which does help with what emotion she's feeling but it never goes further than that in conversation 

I always always always tell her she can talk to me about anything, anywhere, anytime.

I just feel like a terrible mum. 

Maybe what I'm doing is making it worse Pensive I would just really like some advice.

Tia x

Parents

  • I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling Tia. If it helps, my 8 year old is exactly the same. I hear you! It’s so so hard, every day my daughter is either smashing the place up or throwing things, hitting, scratching etc. We’ve put so much support in place but nothing seems to be helping. 


    I’m not sure whether this will help, it’s early days still but can’t hurt to share. We’ve scaled everything right back. Very few plans (ie none), low demand parenting (TiLt podcast has a lot about this) and lots of checking in and watching for signs to see how she is so we can get ahead of when she looks like she might blow up. Noticing signs that she’s beginning to get overloaded like rudeness, shouting etc that usually lead up to a big explosion. She’s not a rude kid when she’s balanced, but gets v mouthy when things start getting too much. 

    I hope you find some calmer waters soon and know you’re not a terrible mum. We’re all doing the best we can and you can’t go wrong with love and kindness. 

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  • I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling Tia. If it helps, my 8 year old is exactly the same. I hear you! It’s so so hard, every day my daughter is either smashing the place up or throwing things, hitting, scratching etc. We’ve put so much support in place but nothing seems to be helping. 


    I’m not sure whether this will help, it’s early days still but can’t hurt to share. We’ve scaled everything right back. Very few plans (ie none), low demand parenting (TiLt podcast has a lot about this) and lots of checking in and watching for signs to see how she is so we can get ahead of when she looks like she might blow up. Noticing signs that she’s beginning to get overloaded like rudeness, shouting etc that usually lead up to a big explosion. She’s not a rude kid when she’s balanced, but gets v mouthy when things start getting too much. 

    I hope you find some calmer waters soon and know you’re not a terrible mum. We’re all doing the best we can and you can’t go wrong with love and kindness. 

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