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How to prepare child for parents going on holiday alone

NAS79621

My son is asd and highly anxious with seperstion anxiety too . 

Myself and my husband are off on a once on a life time honeymoon for 10 nights in a couple of weeks , my son will be at his grandparents .

I haven't mentioned it yet as I know the worrying he will do from now until we're back again , but I feel I also need to prepare him . 

Tips and advice on how to do this would be great , in away that won't cause lots of distress . 

 I've already cried myself a million times at the guilt of leaving him.  

Thanks in advance 

Parents

  • Does he need alone time? This may be a good way to help him recognise the need. Unfortunately, there will be things child just won't understand until they're older which they just need to have big emotions over for now and there's nothing wrong with that in the least. 

    As we get older, our perspective on relationships and roles and our responsibilities within them will change due to factors which cannot really be explained - some things simply need to be experienced. According to his young perspective, your job is to be available when needed. That's completely normal. Part of growing up is to be met with moments when the humans in charge of us turn back into human form, relinquishing their idealised semi-deity selves we "worship and depend on" and this can help us learn some reasonable sense of our own abilities. Obviously, there is cause for alarm when this is taken to far. But in small reasonable doses, this will simply be one of those psychologically and emotionally difficult hurdles we all must go through. 

    You could prep him by asking how he would design his own day if you weren't around. Help him begin to think of things he'd like to be able to manage (if he's old enough) and maybe help set a schedule with the grandparents so he has something to look forward to. If he wants he could have a 'Test Run' to stay over one night and work out any difficulties. Act a bit like a boot camp and strategise? 

    Just an idea to turn it into something accessible for him to accomplish :) 

Reply

  • Does he need alone time? This may be a good way to help him recognise the need. Unfortunately, there will be things child just won't understand until they're older which they just need to have big emotions over for now and there's nothing wrong with that in the least. 

    As we get older, our perspective on relationships and roles and our responsibilities within them will change due to factors which cannot really be explained - some things simply need to be experienced. According to his young perspective, your job is to be available when needed. That's completely normal. Part of growing up is to be met with moments when the humans in charge of us turn back into human form, relinquishing their idealised semi-deity selves we "worship and depend on" and this can help us learn some reasonable sense of our own abilities. Obviously, there is cause for alarm when this is taken to far. But in small reasonable doses, this will simply be one of those psychologically and emotionally difficult hurdles we all must go through. 

    You could prep him by asking how he would design his own day if you weren't around. Help him begin to think of things he'd like to be able to manage (if he's old enough) and maybe help set a schedule with the grandparents so he has something to look forward to. If he wants he could have a 'Test Run' to stay over one night and work out any difficulties. Act a bit like a boot camp and strategise? 

    Just an idea to turn it into something accessible for him to accomplish :) 

Children
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