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Sharing

Lau

Can I ask your views on sharing? 


Forcing autistic children to share? Do you do this? 

Forcing children to share then child meltdowns! Was the forced sharing it worth it? 

Is this narrative of children should share a lot of ***, a recipe for disaster especially with autistic children? 

How do you manage sharing between autistic children if one has a better understanding than another? Ones verbal, ones not? 

Do you say “share” out of embarrassment so others don’t think you child’s spoiled?

If your at a play group and the toys don’t just belong to your child they are for everyone how do you then manage sharing? 

Parents

  • Not liking to share is not a universal feature of autistics. Some can be very generous. Me for instance, I am the most spontaneously generous person in my family, and half of them are not autistic. Having said that, I do not like some of my possessions to be touched without my supervision. Though I am happy to let anyone with an interest handle them, as long as I can ensure that they are treated with respect. I was an only child, as far as I can see having siblings tends towards higher levels of selfishness than the opposite.  

  • in reply to Martin

    Totally agree Martin. I wish it were easier to "share" than it is in this world.

    The amount of times I tried to share with others, and they keep looking for my "angle" is frankly depressing.

    Or worse they see it as a weakness that can be exploited ruthlessly.

    Fortunately that only describes the majority of modern people, I have a few in my own life that understand the concept well enough.. 

    Dirt poor and dead rich people seem to be the best at sharing as far as I can determine.

  • in reply to I Sperg

    “Dirt poor and dead rich people seem to be the best at sharing as far as I can determine.”

    Thats a terrific observation and one I can see too, thanks. 

    I was forced to share as a young child, it was done by my parents with good intentions I’m sure but it felt very painful at the time. Of course there are situations as an adult where we absolutely have to be able to share but equally the point about boundaries is a vital one to me and one it’s taken me most of a lifetime to really get right, both my own boundaries and understanding those of others. 

    Personally I rarely share possessions and if someone wants something I have, eg a book or cd, I almost always buy one for them to have as their own, I am very free with my time and friendship and love though, in these I give with no expectation or need for anything in return. 

Reply
  • in reply to I Sperg

    “Dirt poor and dead rich people seem to be the best at sharing as far as I can determine.”

    Thats a terrific observation and one I can see too, thanks. 

    I was forced to share as a young child, it was done by my parents with good intentions I’m sure but it felt very painful at the time. Of course there are situations as an adult where we absolutely have to be able to share but equally the point about boundaries is a vital one to me and one it’s taken me most of a lifetime to really get right, both my own boundaries and understanding those of others. 

    Personally I rarely share possessions and if someone wants something I have, eg a book or cd, I almost always buy one for them to have as their own, I am very free with my time and friendship and love though, in these I give with no expectation or need for anything in return. 

Children
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