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Sharing

Lau

Can I ask your views on sharing? 


Forcing autistic children to share? Do you do this? 

Forcing children to share then child meltdowns! Was the forced sharing it worth it? 

Is this narrative of children should share a lot of ***, a recipe for disaster especially with autistic children? 

How do you manage sharing between autistic children if one has a better understanding than another? Ones verbal, ones not? 

Do you say “share” out of embarrassment so others don’t think you child’s spoiled?

If your at a play group and the toys don’t just belong to your child they are for everyone how do you then manage sharing? 

Parents

  • Not liking to share is not a universal feature of autistics. Some can be very generous. Me for instance, I am the most spontaneously generous person in my family, and half of them are not autistic. Having said that, I do not like some of my possessions to be touched without my supervision. Though I am happy to let anyone with an interest handle them, as long as I can ensure that they are treated with respect. I was an only child, as far as I can see having siblings tends towards higher levels of selfishness than the opposite.  

Reply

  • Not liking to share is not a universal feature of autistics. Some can be very generous. Me for instance, I am the most spontaneously generous person in my family, and half of them are not autistic. Having said that, I do not like some of my possessions to be touched without my supervision. Though I am happy to let anyone with an interest handle them, as long as I can ensure that they are treated with respect. I was an only child, as far as I can see having siblings tends towards higher levels of selfishness than the opposite.  

Children
  • in reply to Martin

    Totally agree Martin. I wish it were easier to "share" than it is in this world.

    The amount of times I tried to share with others, and they keep looking for my "angle" is frankly depressing.

    Or worse they see it as a weakness that can be exploited ruthlessly.

    Fortunately that only describes the majority of modern people, I have a few in my own life that understand the concept well enough.. 

    Dirt poor and dead rich people seem to be the best at sharing as far as I can determine.

  • in reply to Martin

    I can also be very generous at times but sharing a book between myself & another student during a course I’m at last week sent me into flight mode as the person was sitting so close to me. I left and went to the bathroom for 15 minutes. I couldn’t focus on anything other than the stranger in my personal space and how on earth can two people share 1 book. I felt forced into that situation because we had to share a book.

    Looking back and writing it now it seems incredibly dramatic but that’s how I felt at that time. This is not why I wrote the post above though. 

    I was over thinking how I handled a situation the happened today involving my child and this situation made me think back to something that happened week at an ASN club my child attends. A child had a meltdown due to “not sharing” and immediately his mum took his hand and walked him right out of the club and was very apologetic to all at the club for her child’s behaviour…..I actually thought no wonder he meltdown he was happily playing and another child came up and disrupted his play by taking balls from the ball run he was playing with and now your dragging him out from his club. 

    I done something similar today forced my 5 year old to share and it caused him to be distressed and I felt I should have took my own child feelings into consideration as I knew prior to forcing him to share it would have caused him distress.