Student displays challenging and difficult behaviour + Update

Makes sense. She does always want a need for control. For example when she used to become dysregulated she would hit out at staff knowing she would have to be held and that would calm her down. 

It sounds like someone who has very little control over their life, creating control through the use of demands and the threat of disruptive behaviour. While autistic people have social difficulties choosing who you will and will not interact with seems more like controlling behaviour, than an autistic response to social pressure. 

UPDATE: Another tricky day on Friday. She didn't like either staff again today and went to our local shopping centre and walked round then sat on a sofa there and refused to leave because she didn't want those staff members to take her home. She then ran away from staff and is a fast runner so did lose sight of her therefore parents were called, and police were searching for her aswell as security in the shopping centre were keeping an eye out. After 2 hours we had sight of her and she was happy, dancing, skipping, singing whilst walking round the town. She did speak to strangers asking to use their phones to call her mum. We gave her space and kept as much distance as we could and she was fine. 

I see. So it seems to me what she needs is proof someone cares about her enough to break the rules. You know that scene (https://youtu.be/5Boh9IOZO7E) in good will hunting where the psychologist has to explain to the professor why a genius would rather hang out with thugs than academics? Because any one of them would break the law for him, to keep him safe.

Rules and authority figures didn’t keep her safe. In fact they nearly took her family away.

Maybe she needs a hard core, doesn’t play by the rules, kind of teacher. Sadly I’m not convinced they exist outside of fiction (see GTO for a really good example of what I mean https://youtu.be/lq7E7TQ6fw4)

I’m only half being facetious when I say that. In all seriousness sometimes you need someone outside the system to address these things. The answer isn’t always a teacher or councillor. Sometimes it’s a peer, a friend, preferably an autistic one who is quite a bit more emotionally stable than she is. A big brother/ sister sort of thing.

The parents do believe there is a chance she has PTSD. We spoke to the parents again and they believe the reaction she had yesterday was also because of the trauma because she showed the same signs as a time in the past. She locked herself in the sensory room, turned of all lights, put a chair infront of the door so no one could come in, blocked all windows so no one could see in. We heard her crying and wanted to comfort her but she refused all help, everything that would be worked in the past didn't. We even got staff she likes and feels safe with but that didn't work either. We thought this was because she didn't want staff which part of it was but parents say she didn't feel safe and was scared and had no control over the situation she was in. She apparently used to lock herself in the home bathroom and wouldn't let anyone in because she was scared she would get hurt but their is no signs of abuse or neglect in the family in the past or now. 

She has definitely been through traumatic times with schools, home, and this all has impacted her mental health and how she sees the world and people. She was nearly taken away from her family and put into care so I guess the trust issues also come into play with that because she nearly lost her family. She doesn't open up to her family either so now we fear she is struggling even more because everything is bottled up. We have told her multiple times she can talk to the school counsellor who comes in whenever they need to but she doesn't want to. 

Hmm sounds like PTSD not that I’m in anyway qualified to make that assessment. But I have noticed that people with PTSD will become very chummy with you but then reach a blocking point where they can’t open up anymore because that would mean sharing their trauma with you.

is there any history or traumatic experiences? Disruption in the family? A recent divorce maybe?  Any possibility that she’s being bullied?

tbh even just swapping teachers regularly is not ideal for autistic kids though. It will create a degree of stress.

I know it's difficult if you don't have the staff, but perhaps just spend a day or a week sitting with her without demands, watching her, making notes about what happens each day so that you see the pattern of when outbursts occur.

To be honest, what you've said here explains a lot.  When I read the first part, I'd just done a safeguarding refresher and thought if this was a NT child, this kind of behaviour could be an indicator of abuse.  "Traumatic time with schools in the past" could come under that.  Even when she's taken out if that situation, the trauma doesn't go away easily.  When I was on playground duty as an adult, I was still getting flashbacks to how awful it felt being an autistic child alone on the playground.  Things were bad and it's taken a lot of self examination and therapy to come to terms with my adverse childhood experiences. 

Then when her people she has come to trust in spite of her trauma leave, for her that is an experience of grief.  She needs to find a way to deal with that grief and sense of loss.  She's left worried about changes in the future that she can't predict.  Whatever you can do to help her feel safe and valued at this stage is probably what she needs most.

We do agree to what you are saying and we do apologise for not making it clear. The root of the problem is she doesn't trust or feel comfortable with the majority of staff and doesn't like her timetable and both of these are causing her distress so we are changing her timetable for after half term. We know it is just impossible for students to work with staff they don't know, trust, likes or feel comfortable with. She has told us she is struggling with both staff and timetable and we do our best to sort her staff out in particular but it's hard because it's hard to change students staff because it makes them upset and its not fair on them so options are very limited. 

She has had a traumatic time with schools in the past therefore struggles to trust staff due to the past. Its also a defence mechanism because she knows that her preferred staff will leave at some point so why build even more trust when they will just leave causing her to be very upset. She's had quite a few preferred staff leave since joining us and since this we've realised she tried her best to not form working relationships with staff. I forgot to mention that another staff is leaving and this is the main one she talks to so this is also in the mix of things aswell as it being the last few days until half term. 

She always seems lethargic or in an alerted state and never seems relaxed or regulated and this has been since her first day of joining us but we aren't sure why. She's constantly struggling and unsettled even when things are going smoothly, has her usual staff, schedules, everything is right but is just unsettled and is constantly pacing the school so obviously we aren't meeting her needs but we aren't sure what need this is, we've had professionals in to look at this but even they aren't sure. 

All you've done here is describe her reactions, but there's no way to make suggestions because we don't know what she's reacting to.  

Presumably if you're working in a school with a sensory room you deal with pupils with additional needs a lot.  You should remember that behaviour is communication, that outbursts hapoen when children are overwhelmed, and that every person is different.

Without knowing the child in question, there's no way to say what's upsetting her.  All I can say is that she is clearly very upset and you need to get to the root cause of that and deal with it.  The one clue you mention is that she has difficulty trusting and that may indicate that someone has betrayed her trust.  Some of the things you mention could even be red flags for safeguarding concerns.

I presume that you're asking here because she's autistic, so I would also like to suggest that her "threats" are just her way of stating how she sees things progressing.  She's still a child and learning how to express her needs amidst a lot of complex emotion.  She needs someone who will not take offence and just calmly support her.

They all have a good sense of humour and can all have a laugh. They know exactly how to deal and recognise when she is silently struggling and has managed to form a great bond and trust due to this. But overtime she has stopped talking about her problems with these staff and anytime they offer to check in with her she just declines the offer keeping it bottled up. She feels more comfortable with these staff but we can see how the trust is slowly going with these aswell. 

I think they first people for you to talk to would be the handful of staff she has a good relationship with. They must have some thoughts as to why they’ve been able establish a much better relationship  with her than the rest of staff?

have you consulted them and if so what did they say?