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Seperation anxiety? Help

TJ

Hi, I wondered if anyone could offer some advice as I am at the end of my tether and feel I am going to lose it very soon. My 3.5yr old diagnosed with autism last year is getting more and more hard work. He used to be so good and would play happily whilst I got on with meals, housework etc but the last month, whenever I leave the room (eg to have a shower, wash up) he screams to high heaven, ends up sweating and blotchy. It is not just a tantrum he is so distressed and gets in a state. He loves being in the garden but now if I dont sit out there with him he screams, slams doors etc.  He cannot talk at all so I understand it is frustrating for him but I feel so down as I am on my own with him. I dread the start of every day because of this, I cant get ready for work and have given up trying to do anything. I have tried to just ignore him and let him cry it out but he is so distressed and he screams so hysterically I am sure my neighbours must think I am mistreating him.  I have tried to think what may have triggered this but cannot think, except he went to stay at his Dads at Easter and apparently woke up miserable the next morning there but this is the only thing I can think of. My patience wears thin sometimes as it is relentless, he starts preschool next week and I am so worried this is going to make him worse. On my days off we always do nice things and he is very good when we go out its just at home. I know it is hard when they cannot communicate, I have tried picture exchange but he can only do the basics.  I always tell him what I am going to do next so I dont just disappear from sight but this makes him worse. Do I just ignore his screams and walk out the room??? Please any suggestions would be gratefully received

Parents

  • Hi Chocolate Buttons

    Thanks a lot for your thoughts. We have had a better week, he actually loves preschool and runs in without saying goodbye to me so that is a relief. I am still having problems with the eating but have calmed myself down about it and dont worry about it. I still have the interrupted sleep and early starts but go to bed early now (what an exciting life!). We had a breakthrough with the picture cards when we went out the other day and he passed me the drink andlunch one and the one of my car when he was ready to go so I feel happier that we can progress with this. Its hard when you feel so tired all the time to do these things but I am going to try. The garden meltdowns are still there but I am gradually working myself to just inside the door so he can still see me which seems to help, although I hope this passes before winter as I dont mind when its nice and sunny. Its a shame as he has been so lovely this week I really felt I was losing him a few weeks ago, I think it all gets on top of you and then you cant cope with anything.  I am trying to be more positive and this forum really helps, its great as you dont feel you are moaning all the time and people understand. Other friends just have no idea what a day can be like or how long a day can be!

Reply

  • Hi Chocolate Buttons

    Thanks a lot for your thoughts. We have had a better week, he actually loves preschool and runs in without saying goodbye to me so that is a relief. I am still having problems with the eating but have calmed myself down about it and dont worry about it. I still have the interrupted sleep and early starts but go to bed early now (what an exciting life!). We had a breakthrough with the picture cards when we went out the other day and he passed me the drink andlunch one and the one of my car when he was ready to go so I feel happier that we can progress with this. Its hard when you feel so tired all the time to do these things but I am going to try. The garden meltdowns are still there but I am gradually working myself to just inside the door so he can still see me which seems to help, although I hope this passes before winter as I dont mind when its nice and sunny. Its a shame as he has been so lovely this week I really felt I was losing him a few weeks ago, I think it all gets on top of you and then you cant cope with anything.  I am trying to be more positive and this forum really helps, its great as you dont feel you are moaning all the time and people understand. Other friends just have no idea what a day can be like or how long a day can be!

Children
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