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Seperation anxiety? Help

TJ

Hi, I wondered if anyone could offer some advice as I am at the end of my tether and feel I am going to lose it very soon. My 3.5yr old diagnosed with autism last year is getting more and more hard work. He used to be so good and would play happily whilst I got on with meals, housework etc but the last month, whenever I leave the room (eg to have a shower, wash up) he screams to high heaven, ends up sweating and blotchy. It is not just a tantrum he is so distressed and gets in a state. He loves being in the garden but now if I dont sit out there with him he screams, slams doors etc.  He cannot talk at all so I understand it is frustrating for him but I feel so down as I am on my own with him. I dread the start of every day because of this, I cant get ready for work and have given up trying to do anything. I have tried to just ignore him and let him cry it out but he is so distressed and he screams so hysterically I am sure my neighbours must think I am mistreating him.  I have tried to think what may have triggered this but cannot think, except he went to stay at his Dads at Easter and apparently woke up miserable the next morning there but this is the only thing I can think of. My patience wears thin sometimes as it is relentless, he starts preschool next week and I am so worried this is going to make him worse. On my days off we always do nice things and he is very good when we go out its just at home. I know it is hard when they cannot communicate, I have tried picture exchange but he can only do the basics.  I always tell him what I am going to do next so I dont just disappear from sight but this makes him worse. Do I just ignore his screams and walk out the room??? Please any suggestions would be gratefully received

Parents

  • Hi Chocolate Buttons

    Thanks for your thoughts and comments, I have been thinking today and we attend a special needs group fortnightly at a childrens centre where they play and get to use the sensory room which he loves and I remember them telling me about an outreach family support person so I was going to ask further about this. Like you say, even if it was someone who could just perhaps take him out for an hour for me to give me a rest. My mum is great but she works too and she is getting older and I dont want to put on her. I know a lot of kids play up with their mums but it is definately something about being at home although he does love his house and garden (we only moved in Feb). I thought it may have been the move but I dont think it is. Im going to try and toughen up and take deep breaths when all this happens but how long it will last! I love him to bits and would give up everything for him and he is usually so lovely but its our lack of communication causing the problems. Apparently he just started crying at childminders today for no reason as well, he has preschool tomorrow so will see how he is there for them.

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  • Hi Chocolate Buttons

    Thanks for your thoughts and comments, I have been thinking today and we attend a special needs group fortnightly at a childrens centre where they play and get to use the sensory room which he loves and I remember them telling me about an outreach family support person so I was going to ask further about this. Like you say, even if it was someone who could just perhaps take him out for an hour for me to give me a rest. My mum is great but she works too and she is getting older and I dont want to put on her. I know a lot of kids play up with their mums but it is definately something about being at home although he does love his house and garden (we only moved in Feb). I thought it may have been the move but I dont think it is. Im going to try and toughen up and take deep breaths when all this happens but how long it will last! I love him to bits and would give up everything for him and he is usually so lovely but its our lack of communication causing the problems. Apparently he just started crying at childminders today for no reason as well, he has preschool tomorrow so will see how he is there for them.

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