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Seperation anxiety? Help

TJ

Hi, I wondered if anyone could offer some advice as I am at the end of my tether and feel I am going to lose it very soon. My 3.5yr old diagnosed with autism last year is getting more and more hard work. He used to be so good and would play happily whilst I got on with meals, housework etc but the last month, whenever I leave the room (eg to have a shower, wash up) he screams to high heaven, ends up sweating and blotchy. It is not just a tantrum he is so distressed and gets in a state. He loves being in the garden but now if I dont sit out there with him he screams, slams doors etc.  He cannot talk at all so I understand it is frustrating for him but I feel so down as I am on my own with him. I dread the start of every day because of this, I cant get ready for work and have given up trying to do anything. I have tried to just ignore him and let him cry it out but he is so distressed and he screams so hysterically I am sure my neighbours must think I am mistreating him.  I have tried to think what may have triggered this but cannot think, except he went to stay at his Dads at Easter and apparently woke up miserable the next morning there but this is the only thing I can think of. My patience wears thin sometimes as it is relentless, he starts preschool next week and I am so worried this is going to make him worse. On my days off we always do nice things and he is very good when we go out its just at home. I know it is hard when they cannot communicate, I have tried picture exchange but he can only do the basics.  I always tell him what I am going to do next so I dont just disappear from sight but this makes him worse. Do I just ignore his screams and walk out the room??? Please any suggestions would be gratefully received

Parents

  • Well, things are not getting better. One positive thing is he is sleeping in his own bed now but waking early hours of the morning, wide awake so it is impossible to get him back to bed. I feel I am losing him, we had such a close connection and this seems to be getting further and further away now. he is only like it with me and I dread coming back from work as I know what it will be like. Meltdown after meltdown when I ask him to do something. I dont give in all the time but have to sometimes or I would never eat! He still wont play in garden on his own and the door slamming is terrible but I have put door stops on to foil him. Obsessions rule his life and change all the time, the latest is being on the windowsill upstairs but I cant leave him there and I just dread the meltdown when I stop it. I feel Im being a wimp as he is trying to control me although I feel he is too young to have those thoughts really. Feel so sad as my mum had him all day today to give me a break, good as gold, not one grizzle and as soon as home he started with me. Even she notices as Im sure people think am making it up. I try not to give negative vibes to him as I know they can pick up when you are stressed.  He wont eat and just loads it on a spoon and mashes it up its so disheartening as he used to be such a good eater. How do you communicate feelings with a child that does not speak. I feel I am failing as everything I am advised to try I do and it never works (pecs etc). Any ideas as to who else I could talk to apart from Early Years. I am getting too tired to function at home and work and cope with him and I never thought I would say that but I feel his autism is becoming more apparent by the week. I really feel he hates me and hates being in this house with me

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  • Well, things are not getting better. One positive thing is he is sleeping in his own bed now but waking early hours of the morning, wide awake so it is impossible to get him back to bed. I feel I am losing him, we had such a close connection and this seems to be getting further and further away now. he is only like it with me and I dread coming back from work as I know what it will be like. Meltdown after meltdown when I ask him to do something. I dont give in all the time but have to sometimes or I would never eat! He still wont play in garden on his own and the door slamming is terrible but I have put door stops on to foil him. Obsessions rule his life and change all the time, the latest is being on the windowsill upstairs but I cant leave him there and I just dread the meltdown when I stop it. I feel Im being a wimp as he is trying to control me although I feel he is too young to have those thoughts really. Feel so sad as my mum had him all day today to give me a break, good as gold, not one grizzle and as soon as home he started with me. Even she notices as Im sure people think am making it up. I try not to give negative vibes to him as I know they can pick up when you are stressed.  He wont eat and just loads it on a spoon and mashes it up its so disheartening as he used to be such a good eater. How do you communicate feelings with a child that does not speak. I feel I am failing as everything I am advised to try I do and it never works (pecs etc). Any ideas as to who else I could talk to apart from Early Years. I am getting too tired to function at home and work and cope with him and I never thought I would say that but I feel his autism is becoming more apparent by the week. I really feel he hates me and hates being in this house with me

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