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Seperation anxiety? Help

TJ

Hi, I wondered if anyone could offer some advice as I am at the end of my tether and feel I am going to lose it very soon. My 3.5yr old diagnosed with autism last year is getting more and more hard work. He used to be so good and would play happily whilst I got on with meals, housework etc but the last month, whenever I leave the room (eg to have a shower, wash up) he screams to high heaven, ends up sweating and blotchy. It is not just a tantrum he is so distressed and gets in a state. He loves being in the garden but now if I dont sit out there with him he screams, slams doors etc.  He cannot talk at all so I understand it is frustrating for him but I feel so down as I am on my own with him. I dread the start of every day because of this, I cant get ready for work and have given up trying to do anything. I have tried to just ignore him and let him cry it out but he is so distressed and he screams so hysterically I am sure my neighbours must think I am mistreating him.  I have tried to think what may have triggered this but cannot think, except he went to stay at his Dads at Easter and apparently woke up miserable the next morning there but this is the only thing I can think of. My patience wears thin sometimes as it is relentless, he starts preschool next week and I am so worried this is going to make him worse. On my days off we always do nice things and he is very good when we go out its just at home. I know it is hard when they cannot communicate, I have tried picture exchange but he can only do the basics.  I always tell him what I am going to do next so I dont just disappear from sight but this makes him worse. Do I just ignore his screams and walk out the room??? Please any suggestions would be gratefully received

Parents

  • Hi chocolate buttons

    Yes I am beginning to wonder if he just finds it too much staying at his Dads as my ex does not have him enough (although he visits fortnightly) and then wants him overnight but its literally once every 6 months. I dont think any child could just accept this and I tried last year to explain it would be best every 6 weeks just for a weekend but he just doesnt make the effort and now its too late. Theres nothing else that has happened that could make him like this. He has been doing settling sessions with me in  preschool since April, they have been brilliant and I left him for 2 hrs last week and he was fine but I am worrying this may make things worse just the way he is at the moment.  We have had a better day today but then Ive been out most the day with him - its when we get home hes like it so very frustrating and upsetting for us both. He did sleep in his own bed all night though last night for the first time in a month so maybe????

     

Reply

  • Hi chocolate buttons

    Yes I am beginning to wonder if he just finds it too much staying at his Dads as my ex does not have him enough (although he visits fortnightly) and then wants him overnight but its literally once every 6 months. I dont think any child could just accept this and I tried last year to explain it would be best every 6 weeks just for a weekend but he just doesnt make the effort and now its too late. Theres nothing else that has happened that could make him like this. He has been doing settling sessions with me in  preschool since April, they have been brilliant and I left him for 2 hrs last week and he was fine but I am worrying this may make things worse just the way he is at the moment.  We have had a better day today but then Ive been out most the day with him - its when we get home hes like it so very frustrating and upsetting for us both. He did sleep in his own bed all night though last night for the first time in a month so maybe????

     

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