I need to get something off

Okay where to start. I'm 23 and I dont have much, my mum abused me, dad is a mentally ill wreck who I never see (his mum raised me) I was diagnpsed with aspergers at 13. Which I doubt I do have it all. I think I might have BDP or PTSD

Growing up I never had any friends and I've been constantly surrounded by very old  people and young kids Never w ith people my own age,

I was 5 my best friend was born (our mums where childood friends.) He's now 18 and still in my life.

When I was 10 - 15 I used to play with him, look after him until his mum moved to chorley without telling me which drove me to depression and suicde attempts.

And the main point is that I can't get past it. I still want to have a little brother to take care of, I've tried to apply as a mentor to the bolton lads and girls club

but they said my mental health wasn't good enough. and I wanted to apply to health soical & childcare but my maths are bad

because of drugs my mum took when she was pregnant with me. I'm so sick of being alive, feeling infefior to people my own age because thye  don't believe my age (because I look way younger than my age.)  and unable to relate to them and I feel like I have no future. I have few friends no support no parental advice, protection or anything. I feel so scared and alone and I just had no idea anymore. What the hell do I do? it's htting me like a bomb how much i've missed out on, how i've never had a real life of developed an actual personailty I still feel like a scared litle boy most days. i'm so stuck!!

Parents
  • I'm much older than you JNJG, i know how difficult it is, but you need to find something to do, If you find people difficult to bond with, is there anything near to where you live, like the dogs home, or something where you're working on the land, like a community garden. I forget where i read it, but a woman said she met-up with others near to where she lived, and went litter picking along the canal or the beach, once a week. She got satisfaction 'cos her area looked nicer, and it had become a social event.

Reply
  • I'm much older than you JNJG, i know how difficult it is, but you need to find something to do, If you find people difficult to bond with, is there anything near to where you live, like the dogs home, or something where you're working on the land, like a community garden. I forget where i read it, but a woman said she met-up with others near to where she lived, and went litter picking along the canal or the beach, once a week. She got satisfaction 'cos her area looked nicer, and it had become a social event.

Children
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