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What to ask for at meeting with SENDCO

NAS84186

Hi, I'm new here so not sure what the protocol is for asking questions but hopefully this is ok. I have a meeting tomorrow with the SENDCo at my daugter's school. We are nearing a diagnosis (been waiting 3 years with CAMHS through Covid etc) and she's at an independent school. I know they don't have a great reputation with SEND children but I have to say, they have been really supportive. So - what can I reasonably ask for? My daughter is academically bright, no issues with learning development at all. However, she struggles with the concept of being surrounded by people all day, and not having any choice over what she does. She's also incredibly anxious about sport and I've been writing her notes for the last couple of months to excuse her on those days, so that she will actually go into school. Is it reasonable for me to ask for a 'time out' card for her, and for her to have a quiet space (the library would always be her choice) for her to go to if she needs to use it? And can she be excused from sport (she's in Year 8)? She is very overweight and incredibly resistant to changes in her (very restricted) diet - which we will deal with at some stage, but for now I just want to get her a bit less anxious about school.

I'd really appreciate any advice. Many thanks

  • My son is in a state school and they support the use of a time out card. 

    His SENDCO has agreed to adjustments due to sensitivities on the grounds that it is more important that he makes it to school. He does enjoy PE but did not manage the first Sports Day after Covid as it was in a different place and when he arrived he froze. I guess you need to discuss PE to see if they can come up with any adjustments rather than opting out  Also on the subject of sport I can empathise. I am autistic and also was not good at it partly due to my build.

  • in reply to NAS84186

    Yes I really hope it goes well, there plenty of other forms of pe that don’t involve team sports. I’m glad bullying isn’t a factor. Hopefully the school will have some positive suggestions, it’s promising that they want to help. Another thought I hadn’t mentioned is flexi-schooling, where you part-time attend school.  choosing to go for the subjects and times that she is happy with. And you providing alternative education at home or otherwise when not in school.

  • in reply to Jasmineb1999

    Thanks so much Jasmine that's really useful. So far they have been very much 'what can we do to help?' which is great - and I know they have other students on alternative provision, so I'm hoping that will provide some leverage. She's not being bullied to my knowledge, just hates the whole idea of team sports  - I think because she knows it's not her strong point. Fingers crossed!! 

  • I was home Educated due to the lack of support from school so I don’t have many positive opinions. As much as I hated p.e it was never the exercise that I hated. It was the constant and relentless bullying that made me hate it. For some reason it was always worse , in fact teacher use to join in. I don’t think you could get a school to agree to no p.e as it is part of the national curriculum. (Although I have no idea if independent schools have to follow that?) But you could certainly request a different form of exercise such as a 1-1 gym session, or yoga, dance etc. with fewer students. the library seems like a sensible suggestion. And the time out card seems reasonable. However the school I went to were unwilling to give me permission to use toilets during lesson time (I had IBS and use to not eat due to it) or have music to listen to at lunch, I pretty sure they even denied me my suggestion of letting me do piano practice during break. So I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t let it happen. ‘Everything has to be fair for all’ was the excuse they would use. But it forced the best decision my parents ever made, probably saved my life.

  • Just a welcome, I have no advice but I hope it all works out tomorrow.