I don't know how to help my daughter

Firstly please don't take this the wrong way but it's coming across as you being the one in the wrong here..let me explain...when someone with asd doesn't talk or when they do  say something and it may be  nasty etc..bear in mind that 1. There processing of language ie hearing it AND speaking it is totally different to yours and mine for example pathways in the brain for neuro typical ie people with out  asd hear someone speak or reply to it in a way that it travels on pathways in brain and goes simply from A to B simple job done messages received  and understood BUT with asd brain the message goes like this ..from Z to B back To A then maybe another whiz round in opp direction before the processing of that even begins..so your child is 1. Struggling to process it and then 2. Can't speak back to reply when they have...or just doesnt talk is same reason due to pathway...also please be aware that when someone with asd says something that may come across as nasty or just totally ignoring your feelings etc but this Is NOT what is going on... what IS going on is that in there tool box of options to reply to you they may just have only one tool and that one tool maybe to reply in that same  manner so for example if you asked them do they like jam they would reply that way as soon as if you asked them something different ie what's your favourite book ? Because they only have one way they do not have tools like you to talk to you compared to them have a full tool box of options and this is not because they are stupid in fact far from it  they have far more going on than you do but yes they will not have any of the tools you have for communicating in the way you do is about the pathways and the processing She probably would love to communicate with you about her favourite book but in her way..which you don't know how to do. .also it is upsetting for them as how would you feel when everyone around you has no trouble with it but only you do it makes you feel like an idiot..also are you aware that the very fact of being diagnosed is a bombshell not only for her but for whole family so there are likely underlying tensions in the whole house and be aware for example science recently showed that they have a 100 times more nerve endings in there spine than you or i do and this is only one thing the whole body brain is operating most likely on a far more advanced level than yours..you canot possibly know the likely hell she is going through so please take some time to educate yourself your daughter os not just an awfull person..and more than anything she needs your love and support and yes you do need to give her more help than others and yes you do have to sacrifice yourself but will you get it back,? ..yes.. but maybe not in the way you want or expect but you will get it back...please take the time to educate yourself about autism as although not obvious and in your face like a disability like having no legs for example..asd people can be just as crippled its just you can't see it because it is NEUROLOGICAL. Otherwise if you don't come around to there world and stay in your own its like your saying what's wrong with that man he should have been up that mountain by now..when he's got no legs. Find ways to communicate on her terms..what is she reading? If she played an instrument you could play one with her for example. Etc try to get to know her..she may also I have a feeling be feeling like she is very very sad that she has upset everyone.. just because she doesn't show it doesn't mean she isn't feeling those emotions. Also girls are far more likely to be having a horrendously time due to the fact that females have much more nuanced subtleties in there communication and very often people who are asd female prefer male friends as males as they are not so nuanced they're more blunt so she is probably having he'll of a time.with her female friend's who are likely neuro typical..poor girl is on her own.

Firstly please don't take this the wrong way but it's coming across as you being the one in the wrong here..let me explain...when someone with asd doesn't talk or when they do  say something and it may be  nasty etc..bear in mind that 1. There processing of language ie hearing it AND speaking it is totally different to yours and mine for example pathways in the brain for neuro typical ie people with out  asd hear someone speak or reply to it in a way that it travels on pathways in brain and goes simply from A to B simple job done messages received  and understood BUT with asd brain the message goes like this ..from Z to B back To A then maybe another whiz round in opp direction before the processing of that even begins..so your child is 1. Struggling to process it and then 2. Can't speak back to reply when they have...or just doesnt talk is same reason due to pathway...also please be aware that when someone with asd says something that may come across as nasty or just totally ignoring your feelings etc but this Is NOT what is going on... what IS going on is that in there tool box of options to reply to you they may just have only one tool and that one tool maybe to reply in that same  manner so for example if you asked them do they like jam they would reply that way as soon as if you asked them something different ie what's your favourite book ? Because they only have one way they do not have tools like you to talk to you compared to them have a full tool box of options and this is not because they are stupid in fact far from it  they have far more going on than you do but yes they will not have any of the tools you have for communicating in the way you do is about the pathways and the processing She probably would love to communicate with you about her favourite book but in her way..which you don't know how to do. .also it is upsetting for them as how would you feel when everyone around you has no trouble with it but only you do it makes you feel like an idiot..also are you aware that the very fact of being diagnosed is a bombshell not only for her but for whole family so there are likely underlying tensions in the whole house and be aware for example science recently showed that they have a 100 times more nerve endings in there spine than you or i do and this is only one thing the whole body brain is operating most likely on a far more advanced level than yours..you canot possibly know the likely hell she is going through so please take some time to educate yourself your daughter os not just an awfull person..and more than anything she needs your love and support and yes you do need to give her more help than others and yes you do have to sacrifice yourself but will you get it back,? ..yes.. but maybe not in the way you want or expect but you will get it back...please take the time to educate yourself about autism as although not obvious and in your face like a disability like having no legs for example..asd people can be just as crippled its just you can't see it because it is NEUROLOGICAL. Otherwise if you don't come around to there world and stay in your own its like your saying what's wrong with that man he should have been up that mountain by now..when he's got no legs. Find ways to communicate on her terms..what is she reading? If she played an instrument you could play one with her for example. Etc try to get to know her..she may also I have a feeling be feeling like she is very very sad that she has upset everyone.. just because she doesn't show it doesn't mean she isn't feeling those emotions. Also girls are far more likely to be having a horrendously time due to the fact that females have much more nuanced subtleties in there communication and very often people who are asd female prefer male friends as males as they are not so nuanced they're more blunt so she is probably having he'll of a time.with her female friend's who are likely neuro typical..poor girl is on her own.