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Financial help

NAS80013

My daughter is 22 and diagnosed last year as ASD. She wanted to be independent so moved into a flat with her friend. After a year she realised she couldn’t really look after herself (the flat was disgusting, she didn’t keep up with the washing and didn’t really keep herself clean, although that hasn’t changed since she moved home) so moved back home. Since being home we have found out during the year she lived away she spent all her full time wages plus £13000 of savings plus racked up £4000 on a credit card. We talked to her and explained that she can’t have everything she wants and that you have to save for it. We cleared all her debt and she promised to manage her finances but I have just found a credit card bill for £500 that she is not making payments on but still saying she isn’t using it when I ask her.   So my question is how do I help her? How do I make her see she is impulsive and just buys what she wants. I did tell her the first time I would take her credit card but she went crazy and said she is an adult and I can’t do that……..help!

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  • When I first moved out from home I worked out my outgoings from bills then I worked out how much I had left per week, took it out in cash and that’s all I had to spend on food or anything else that took my fancy. Once it was gone it was gone. Obviously this method relies on her really sticking to that and not using cards. Also doesn’t help if she does a lot of online shopping. Would it help her to budget everything out on a white board? I had one which I wrote things down on so me and my husband could both see it and keep track. There are also apps nowadays for that. But again it will rely on her being honest about what she’s spent unless the app is connected to her bank accounts, which I personally didn’t like the idea of. It can be tricky to separate out your wants for your needs at times, I often leave things in my basket for a couple of days and see if I forget about them or sometimes the next day I think “nah I don’t want that actually” If impulsiveness is a serious issue in a lot of areas of her life it may be worth considering whether she also has ADHD, quite a lot of folks have autism and ADHD together

  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    We have just started the ADHD referral but will be months before an assessment but I defo think she will be diagnosed 

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