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My 8 year old and friends or lack of.

NAS83525

So my son has always been a bit much when it comes to play. He’s a bit rough. A bit loud and doesn’t understand emotion overly. 
he likes to play with other children but gets pushed out a lot. He doesn’t get invited to children’s birthday parties at all. I’m not sure what I can do. I feel really bad for him. 
he’s been referred and accepted to cahms only last week. So we have a wait ahead. 
I am sure he has adhd. I have it. But likely something underlying too. Possibly Asperger’s. 
We are Eastleigh/Southampton way. Is there any groups or any suggestions from others that have been in this situation?? Thank you. 

  • in reply to Glitter

    Didn’t realise I could find groups on here. Brilliant. Thank you!  
    ok I will try this and talk to the school too so we can work together. 
    that’s a good idea. I will try organise something for next week. 

  • in reply to Mariusz

    Thank you. I will take a look at these. I’ve explained that everyone is different as every single person likes different things and in different ways. 
    He’s a very clever little boy and I’ve told him nothing is wrong with him. 
    ah thank you. That’s lovely to hear. 

  • You can search the NAS website for local group listings.  

    In the meantime, you can continue to teach him about his emotions. Talk to him about the physical sensations he might be feeling when things go wrong.  Help him to recognise them, possibly with a visual scale, and suggest ways that he can calm himself or other things he can do when he's feeling cross.  We use "emotional coaching" in the school where I work and it's actually teaching me to understand my own emotions better.

    You could also arrange a supervised play date where you can observe his reactions and calmly help him to make better choices.

  • Hi

    NAS83525 said:
    doesn’t understand emotion overly

    could indicate being alexithymic, you could watch series of videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MHm09yun2M&list=PL3R_uyUBjsuB0BE2NCa4Md7OmDofrCyk4 to see if it fits. About half of autistic is alexithymic.

    After changes in diagnostic manuals Asperger's changed name to autism.

    8 years without friends is still not very long, but it gets to you when you are autistic. We can see that we are different, and sometimes we notice that others can see it too, but more often we are being told that there is something wrong with us, not that we are different. I met my first friend when I was 28, and I didn't realise we are becoming friends until many years later.

    It's good he has you.