Possible autism in 6 year old daughter

Hi there,

I wanted to get some advice about my daughter who is 6. Her behaviour is hard to manage with frequent meltdowns and tantrums. She has started to refuse to go to school. The school have given me an autism assessment to complete but they have told me that because she is well behaved at school and quite clever that it probably won't go anywhere.

I have looked at private assessments but they are around £2000. 

I am not sure she has autism or not but feel that I need some help with understanding her behaviour. It seems that school is stressful for her with all the rules to follow and she is terrified of getting it wrong. She tells me that she is bored and under stimulated and the school have admitted this as well.

I have asked the school for help with her emotions but because it only happens at home they have said they can't see her for one to one. I have been told to spend 30 minutes a days making silly faces at her and rubbing hand cream into her hands by the 'thrive' practitioner at the school but that's about it.

Today she spent 2 hours screaming and shouting and throwing things before we threatened to take her to school, in her pyjamas. She got changed on the doorstep and then I got her in by pushing her in my younger son's buggy. She didn't seem embarrassed by this at all.

She tells me she has no friends at school and plays alone but I am not sure if this is the case. The thrive practitioner told me to walk past the school at break time to see if this was true but this seems a bit extreme.

I am waiting to hear on the assessment as the SEN person is off sick but don't hold out much hope. I feel so desperate and wondered if anyone else had had similar experiences with their children, in particular girls, as I understand that they present differently.

thanks!

Parents
  • Sorry NHS ..but whatever you do do not go via NHS as spotting asd in weomen girls is very difficult in fact even the guidelines that the professionals follow to diagnose it are way behind and so lots are going undiagnosed..its daft so for example you have to get so many points like a mathematical equation to tell you if you autistic or not..and it is not one size fits all..the fine tuning isn't there..for example if you are 1 point away because your child wears noise cancelling headphones but because she removes them at home then no that's a point down so your diagnosis is a no..sorry but it makes me angry..its just we are so far behind I think and trouble with girls weomen we are much more complex and subtle than the signs in men.I won't go on but all I will say is go private and to the best..dont go nhs or go to them after private. Good luck

Reply
  • Sorry NHS ..but whatever you do do not go via NHS as spotting asd in weomen girls is very difficult in fact even the guidelines that the professionals follow to diagnose it are way behind and so lots are going undiagnosed..its daft so for example you have to get so many points like a mathematical equation to tell you if you autistic or not..and it is not one size fits all..the fine tuning isn't there..for example if you are 1 point away because your child wears noise cancelling headphones but because she removes them at home then no that's a point down so your diagnosis is a no..sorry but it makes me angry..its just we are so far behind I think and trouble with girls weomen we are much more complex and subtle than the signs in men.I won't go on but all I will say is go private and to the best..dont go nhs or go to them after private. Good luck

Children
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