Just because they have needs...

you can always vent here

ranting is good, cleansing, even if it doesn't solve problems, at least you can face them again,

some problems don't want to go away, after all we are slaves of the system, few 'lucky' get to reach retirement

Many thanks.  I've needed a couple of rants here today already and, of course, some of it has spilled over on this forum.  A cry and a sleep should do it.  Plus we can stretch to a takeaway later on.

State pension age is still a few years off for me but workwise my setup is better than it's ever been (self employed).  It is the role of parent/carer that leaves me feeling eroded, especially against a more general cultural background in which flying the nest is an assumption.  

Plus some of this has been triggered by us sorting out our wills - in as much as this can be done without knowing what our own future care needs might be and what our adult offspring will need in the coming years - and accidentally coming a cross an article about parental disappointment and family conflict at young adults returning or remaining in the parental home due to the economic crisis.  I'm feeling that, well, within our family flying the nest is impossible irrespective of the economic background so what are they whinging about! 

Poor, poor "norms" and their two-way plight around adult offspring returning or their "depression" over "empty nest syndrome" when they do actually leave! 

   

Many thanks.  I've needed a couple of rants here today already and, of course, some of it has spilled over on this forum.  A cry and a sleep should do it.  Plus we can stretch to a takeaway later on.

State pension age is still a few years off for me but workwise my setup is better than it's ever been (self employed).  It is the role of parent/carer that leaves me feeling eroded, especially against a more general cultural background in which flying the nest is an assumption.  

Plus some of this has been triggered by us sorting out our wills - in as much as this can be done without knowing what our own future care needs might be and what our adult offspring will need in the coming years - and accidentally coming a cross an article about parental disappointment and family conflict at young adults returning or remaining in the parental home due to the economic crisis.  I'm feeling that, well, within our family flying the nest is impossible irrespective of the economic background so what are they whinging about! 

Poor, poor "norms" and their two-way plight around adult offspring returning or their "depression" over "empty nest syndrome" when they do actually leave! 

   

It's possible, although many parents would want to protect their children from becoming their carers, in as far as that's possible while the social care system is so run down.   

I would just love for mine to fly the nest.  Well, as long as that's for positive reasons.  As things are I feel they're just denied any chance of setting up their own home.  I wish it could be a choice rather than it being imposed by the usual conventions and systems. 

Truly fed up of "kings" and PMs.  So much for hard work and reinventing ourselves every few years!  We just needed to inherit or marry into wealth or positions.  ️

I wish I could feel more positive about it all.  

Yes - we feel incredibly fortunate to have our home - small as it is. As for having a PM who’s twice as wealthy as the King and who presides over a society where people can’t afford enough food etc……..don’t get me started. 

Yes, our choices have been eroded and narrowed by external factors beyond our control.  And people are trapped.  As it stands I think we need much more space in our home, but that is nothing compared to those who can't afford a home at all. 

Still, rejoice that it's possible for some and certainly Rishi's massive heated swimming pool seems to be coming along nicely!  

The truth is that the county has been run so badly over the last 12 years (and longer in some ways) that the most basic aspects of life in the U.K. aren’t working. The rental sector, the nhs, social care, welfare, employment rights, education for SEN - the list goes on. All underfunded and broken. I cannot believe how high rents are - it’s shocking. How anyone on a low income or benefits  can leave home I just don’t know. Never mind the deposits and the whole outrageous guarantor thing. It’s all loaded on the side of the landlord. 

It can work to have multigenerational households but it sometimes doesn’t. If I’d have had to live with my parents when I was an adult………yikes - would have been a threat to my mental health. On the other side of it one of my adult children lives at home and I wish he’d stay with us forever - we LOVE having him with us and I dread the day he moves out. It all depends. But it should be a CHOICE - and for many it isn’t a choice. 

And we definitely don't dust. 

www.ellenbailey.com/.../ellen_218.htm

Ah, the housework has fallen well below most ordinary standards around here.  That, at least, we derive a bit of humour from because a lot of housework seems to us to be a waste of life. 

I wear myself out, just doing housework.

Take as much time to yourself, as possible. 

Jenny Butterfly said:

"empty nest syndrome"

I long suspected it's their realisation they were bad parents and kids are not coming back, even to visit them, even less likely to care for them when they get old