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Discipline

NAS79621

My son is 8 almost 9  . 

He  communicates very well, however we are finding he wants everything his way and if we try to explain to him or discipline  him,  he just doesn't get it and answers backs  to everything . 

It's like hes in charge and trying to tell us what to do . 

If we change the tone of our voice he thinks we are shouting .... he really struggles with school (mainstream) and when I ask what he doesn't like he says "there always shouting ) 

I always bring myself down thinking is it my parenting ,is he just spoilt or does he genuinely not get it , its so hard and when he gets into the answer back , meltdowns etc I feel judged from others that he just looks  naughty. 

I just feel  a bit stressed and at a loose end .

Parents

  • Hiya,

    Sorry you are struggling at the moment. Please don't blame your parenting, doesn't sound like you have done anything wrong.

    Feeling judged by others is pretty common when you have a child with autism. you could get him a lanyard which says he is autistic (only if he would like to wear it), this is definitely not something which you should feel you have to do. Only do it if it makes you feel more comfortable. Everyone should keep their opinions to themselves, but society isn't like that, so i understand why you feel judged.

    sounds silly but have you tried something like a marble jar. adding marbles in when he does something right and then if he talks back then you can take one out. explain that to him first. then he can have a visual aid to what you are trying to say. and then he can have a treat when the jar is full?

    Also, you mentioned that he finds school hard. that might be the reason behind his behaviour. 

    Has he tried noise cancelling headphones? do they help at all? sounds like he has issues with his senses. maybe discuss with his school about wearing them in class when they are getting on with independent work so that he doesn't feel like people are 'shouting'.

    Alisha xx

    P.S. feel free to pop me a private message if you ever want to chat

Reply

  • Hiya,

    Sorry you are struggling at the moment. Please don't blame your parenting, doesn't sound like you have done anything wrong.

    Feeling judged by others is pretty common when you have a child with autism. you could get him a lanyard which says he is autistic (only if he would like to wear it), this is definitely not something which you should feel you have to do. Only do it if it makes you feel more comfortable. Everyone should keep their opinions to themselves, but society isn't like that, so i understand why you feel judged.

    sounds silly but have you tried something like a marble jar. adding marbles in when he does something right and then if he talks back then you can take one out. explain that to him first. then he can have a visual aid to what you are trying to say. and then he can have a treat when the jar is full?

    Also, you mentioned that he finds school hard. that might be the reason behind his behaviour. 

    Has he tried noise cancelling headphones? do they help at all? sounds like he has issues with his senses. maybe discuss with his school about wearing them in class when they are getting on with independent work so that he doesn't feel like people are 'shouting'.

    Alisha xx

    P.S. feel free to pop me a private message if you ever want to chat

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