Hey all,
I would like to hear how you manage at home? I have a son who has ASD, he is high functioning.
We have good and bad days but it's the bad episodes which can be a real struggle. I have had several days in a row this week where he has been asked to get dressed for bed or tidy his room, and it resulted in a full meltdown. The concerning thing is he has threaten to break my neck, told me i am fat and ugly and all sorts of other things, too colourful for on here. When I didn't respond he started on my daughter who is three and said he wished she was dead and I had to stand as a barrier so he wouldn't get to her as he had threatened to kill her. Then he started shouting at my partner calling him some very nasty things. Non of us said a word to him in hope he would calm down, I tried talking to him and it made it worse, ignoring and saying nothing made it worse and in the end I got my dad on the phone to try help talk him down. This then helped. But since he was very little he has been fixated on death and killing which is worrying. I have been very careful what he is exposed to so nothing has influenced him. He has planned out in the past exactly how he is going to kill me and says he hates me constantly. He doesn't show any remorse or emotions, I don't get affection from him like i do with my daughter. He's just a very angry child. I waited a a long while before only a couple months ago he was then assessed and was diagnosed with Autism. Camhs won't see him.
He is in a special provison, as he went through several mainstream schools which he was excluded from and wasn't allowed in class due to the violence, he was too unsafe to be around other children. In his school now the other children have difficult behaviours but nothing like my son's as he threatens to kill the teachers and everyone in their family. I have tried extensively to talk to his teacher and other staff members to see what they can do but nothing else has been offered. I have had various professionsals involved in the past all that have made no difference at all and I have also completed 3 different parenting courses around ways to manage behaviour and about to do another course next month. I have been told I do everything that is suggested, but nothing is getting easier and all the ways i try don't seem to help. I am at a complete loss and it is effecting my daughter as she is copying the things she says, but i worry about the long term impact it may have on her.
Are these normal behaviours for a person with Autism? I am new to all of this so I really don't know what is expected or how to properly manage it, I try my hardest to understand my son and to support him. I have been fighting for years to get him the support he needs but I only seem to get my parenting skills looked at rather than findng out why my son seems to hate me and behave the way he does. When I get told I am doing all I can, and I get told i'm doing a fantastic job I honestly don't believe it as nothing with my son has changed only got worse with age.
All advice will be hugly appreciated!
