Struggling with parenting

Hi Lego Girl, your situation sounds very similar to mine. I am autistic and so is my son. He has huge meltdowns, hitting us and throwing things. My wife is 8 months pregnant and has had to call the hospital more than once because of him hitting her in the stomach. His meltdowns make me feel the need to meltdown just like you so I get that too. I cant imgaine how hard it must be to deal with all this as a single parent. You sound like an amazing and brave mom!

Heres a few things that, through trial and error and speaking to lots of other autistic parents and parents of autistic kids, I have found help

Taking away toys. If my boy hits us he loses his toy cars for a certain period of time. This seems to have an effect on him that things like naughty chairs never did. 

Explaining that she could hurt you and that her hitting and throwing is making you sad. Say it slowly and deliberatley and explain. Our kids love us and they are good kids. Realising they are actually hurting you and making you sad does make them hit less

Try to turn off sources of stimulation when she is having a meltdown. As soon as my boy starts a meltdown the TV, spotify, whatever goes off so there are less things to give him a sensory overload and over stimulate him. This helps make him calm down quicker. 

Find out if certain foods affect her. My boy becomes very hyper and overstimulated the instant he eats chocolate, even if it is only a small bit. He still has sweets and is ok with that but we have noticed a huge difference by cutting chocolate out of his diet

Get lots of fidget toys. My boy likes the one that looks like a playstation controller and the rubber one that you can bite down on when upset. These are all cheap on ebay, I can send you the links if you need. 

FInd things that calm her down. My boy finds watching vidoes of people playing with toy cars on you tube is a real calming thing for him so we always suggest watching this to him when he is destressed

Reach out and get help. There are support groups for autistic parents and there is lots of support you can get with your daughter. Contact your local council, explain the situation and see what they have on offer in your area. We have found a parent support group in ours and have also enrolled our son in the NAS Early BIrd programme. I dont know what age that goes up to though. Its likely your council might have similar stuff. Her school may be able to point you in the right way too, I dont know

Keep reaching out! You are not alone and dont despair, you are doing a good job

Hi Lego Girl, your situation sounds very similar to mine. I am autistic and so is my son. He has huge meltdowns, hitting us and throwing things. My wife is 8 months pregnant and has had to call the hospital more than once because of him hitting her in the stomach. His meltdowns make me feel the need to meltdown just like you so I get that too. I cant imgaine how hard it must be to deal with all this as a single parent. You sound like an amazing and brave mom!

Heres a few things that, through trial and error and speaking to lots of other autistic parents and parents of autistic kids, I have found help

Taking away toys. If my boy hits us he loses his toy cars for a certain period of time. This seems to have an effect on him that things like naughty chairs never did. 

Explaining that she could hurt you and that her hitting and throwing is making you sad. Say it slowly and deliberatley and explain. Our kids love us and they are good kids. Realising they are actually hurting you and making you sad does make them hit less

Try to turn off sources of stimulation when she is having a meltdown. As soon as my boy starts a meltdown the TV, spotify, whatever goes off so there are less things to give him a sensory overload and over stimulate him. This helps make him calm down quicker. 

Find out if certain foods affect her. My boy becomes very hyper and overstimulated the instant he eats chocolate, even if it is only a small bit. He still has sweets and is ok with that but we have noticed a huge difference by cutting chocolate out of his diet

Get lots of fidget toys. My boy likes the one that looks like a playstation controller and the rubber one that you can bite down on when upset. These are all cheap on ebay, I can send you the links if you need. 

FInd things that calm her down. My boy finds watching vidoes of people playing with toy cars on you tube is a real calming thing for him so we always suggest watching this to him when he is destressed

Reach out and get help. There are support groups for autistic parents and there is lots of support you can get with your daughter. Contact your local council, explain the situation and see what they have on offer in your area. We have found a parent support group in ours and have also enrolled our son in the NAS Early BIrd programme. I dont know what age that goes up to though. Its likely your council might have similar stuff. Her school may be able to point you in the right way too, I dont know

Keep reaching out! You are not alone and dont despair, you are doing a good job