Violent son

Me and my wife are really struggling to look after our son. We love him more than life itself and he's a lovely caring good natured boy most of the time but he can be so violent and we dont know what to do about it.

He is 3 years old and on the waiting list for an autism diagnosis. (I am autistic too)

The thing is he can be incredibly violent. He doesnt usually even seem agressive when he does it, a lot of the time he is laughing like its a game. He punches me full on in the teeth, face and head. He kicks me in the head when I'm in bed in the morning

My wife is 8 months pregnant and has to spend almost a whole day with a cushion over her tummy cos he hits her in the stomach so much, sometimes when hes angry and sometimes when hes excited. He also tries to gouge our eyes and various other things

It sounds silly to be threatened by a 3 year old but he is freakishly, almost superhumanly strong for his age and often stronger than either me or my wife

We are both at breaking point and turning on each other over it and  I dont know what to do. If hes like this when he's older he might have to go into care or something as it wont be safe for us or the new baby to be around him

We love him so much hes our world and honestly most of the time he is the sweetest most caring lovely boy you could meet. Its just these epizodes of violence and at the moment they are at least twice a day 

Desperate, dont know what to do or any stratagies to use. We have had support from our Health Visitor but theres only so much they can do

Parents
  • Hiya,

    Is he aware that he's hurting you? have you told him this or are you assuming that he knows. make it really clear that it hurts and it's not acceptable and give him an alternative. maybe get some toy bowling pins for him to try and knock down. or a punchbag. or make a target and tell him he has to throw his teddies as hard as he can at it. try to redirect the behaviour rather than stop it. Sounds like he struggles to deal with his emotions (which i am sure you can also relate to) and being 'violent' is his way of expressing himself. 

    Good luck

    Alisha xx

Reply
  • Hiya,

    Is he aware that he's hurting you? have you told him this or are you assuming that he knows. make it really clear that it hurts and it's not acceptable and give him an alternative. maybe get some toy bowling pins for him to try and knock down. or a punchbag. or make a target and tell him he has to throw his teddies as hard as he can at it. try to redirect the behaviour rather than stop it. Sounds like he struggles to deal with his emotions (which i am sure you can also relate to) and being 'violent' is his way of expressing himself. 

    Good luck

    Alisha xx

Children