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Struggling with my daughter

SeLeNa

Hi, I'm new here and I'm having a lot of problems with my eight year old daughter, Rosie. We both have autism and she is struggling big times with her's and I'm finding it hard to manage mine and help her through her difficulties. It's just the two of us now and I am trying to find her support, like a help worker but it's hard to find someone. I have been and seen the GP but she was little help and didn't listen when I explained about Rosie's autism and she caused her to have a meltdown and now she won't go to the doctors again.

One of the main problems I'm having with Rosie is that she's still very much like a little girl, toddler age really despite her actual age. She's slow developing. I still have to feed her with a spoon with most meals as she can't manage on her own. But she's refusing to eat a lot of the time, screams when I try to give her any food and will either run away or bite me. That's another problem I'm having is that Rosie bites everything, me and items around the house. She even bites herself. I'm worried she's going to hurt herself.

I've had to take her out of school for the time being as she wasn't coping. Luckily the school are very support and are hopefully putting me in touch with people who may be able to help but I don't know how long that will take. Hopefully not long. Rosie is doing a few hours this week on Thursday, hopefully she will get on ok this time.

Last issue is sleep. Rosie is awake most of the night she never seems to get tired and that keeps me up then as she needs to be watched all the time. 

If you've experienced this please give me some pointers here as I'm not sure what to do with most of this. Feel like a bad mum right now.. I'm trying my best but I just don't know what to do.

Parents

  • A different pace of development is quite normal for autistics. But since I’m a bit unclear, what added needs does she have? 

    The autistic brain will contain some of the same fundamental elements, much like how we can identify what is specific to NTs and then what is simply human nature. The reason I bring this up is because too much individualisation can make a thing uncertain and then we find it difficult to relate. 

    Fundamentally, autistics can experience an “everything all at once” from a lack of ability to dull the senses. This can be amazing as a specialist but I think it’s part of what slows our maturing and requires intellectual education rather than socialising in youth. There is plenty of time to learn a bit of ethics and wisdom for socialising. The other thing we can experience is a sense of everything is connected. These same brain oscillations are responsible for a flow-state, or Monotropism, the ability to hyper focus. Thus interruptions are cruel. But in combination, these two distinct attributes can keep us stimulated into the wee hours of the morning from all encounters of the day yet to be resolved. 

    So, I’d love to help with suggestions, but would need help understanding where her added needs are. 

    One thing to try could be reading classic stories at night. I read with a card to underline and find that halogen or enough candlelight is easier to read as LEDs don’t provide enough natural light to see with contrast. 

    Books without pictures, the old Paddington stories, Narnia, and so on, can provide enough stimulation for an active imagination, to redirect attention toward things which don’t need sorting out or calculating. And without pictures, the mind is forced to engage in soothing phantasies which should help wind down for the night. :) 

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  • A different pace of development is quite normal for autistics. But since I’m a bit unclear, what added needs does she have? 

    The autistic brain will contain some of the same fundamental elements, much like how we can identify what is specific to NTs and then what is simply human nature. The reason I bring this up is because too much individualisation can make a thing uncertain and then we find it difficult to relate. 

    Fundamentally, autistics can experience an “everything all at once” from a lack of ability to dull the senses. This can be amazing as a specialist but I think it’s part of what slows our maturing and requires intellectual education rather than socialising in youth. There is plenty of time to learn a bit of ethics and wisdom for socialising. The other thing we can experience is a sense of everything is connected. These same brain oscillations are responsible for a flow-state, or Monotropism, the ability to hyper focus. Thus interruptions are cruel. But in combination, these two distinct attributes can keep us stimulated into the wee hours of the morning from all encounters of the day yet to be resolved. 

    So, I’d love to help with suggestions, but would need help understanding where her added needs are. 

    One thing to try could be reading classic stories at night. I read with a card to underline and find that halogen or enough candlelight is easier to read as LEDs don’t provide enough natural light to see with contrast. 

    Books without pictures, the old Paddington stories, Narnia, and so on, can provide enough stimulation for an active imagination, to redirect attention toward things which don’t need sorting out or calculating. And without pictures, the mind is forced to engage in soothing phantasies which should help wind down for the night. :) 

Children