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Struggling with my daughter

SeLeNa

Hi, I'm new here and I'm having a lot of problems with my eight year old daughter, Rosie. We both have autism and she is struggling big times with her's and I'm finding it hard to manage mine and help her through her difficulties. It's just the two of us now and I am trying to find her support, like a help worker but it's hard to find someone. I have been and seen the GP but she was little help and didn't listen when I explained about Rosie's autism and she caused her to have a meltdown and now she won't go to the doctors again.

One of the main problems I'm having with Rosie is that she's still very much like a little girl, toddler age really despite her actual age. She's slow developing. I still have to feed her with a spoon with most meals as she can't manage on her own. But she's refusing to eat a lot of the time, screams when I try to give her any food and will either run away or bite me. That's another problem I'm having is that Rosie bites everything, me and items around the house. She even bites herself. I'm worried she's going to hurt herself.

I've had to take her out of school for the time being as she wasn't coping. Luckily the school are very support and are hopefully putting me in touch with people who may be able to help but I don't know how long that will take. Hopefully not long. Rosie is doing a few hours this week on Thursday, hopefully she will get on ok this time.

Last issue is sleep. Rosie is awake most of the night she never seems to get tired and that keeps me up then as she needs to be watched all the time. 

If you've experienced this please give me some pointers here as I'm not sure what to do with most of this. Feel like a bad mum right now.. I'm trying my best but I just don't know what to do.

Parents

  • Hiya,

    maybe talk to the doctor without her present. 

    I don't have much advice on the food. She'll get hungry and want to eat eventually. Have you tried different foods, different textures, colours, make it interesting? if she isn't at risk of choking, try giving her a bowl of food and see what she does. we did this with my cousin (whos also on the spectrum and struggles to feed himself) and he put his head in it and ate it that way which was a bit messy but he had lots of fun and it got him eating again, we turned it into a game. Honestly not sure, your GP might have some suggestions

    You can get things for her to bite Sensory Fidget Chewelry Rolla Tool Necklace Autism SEN ADHD Biting Hand Fidget | eBay, something like that. try and make it clear the next time that she bites you that it hurts. She isn't doing it to hurt you, she's trying to communicate.

    Fingerscrossed school is ok on thursday

    That's quite a common issue in children on the spectrum, does she have a bedtime routine, that's really important. She needs a safe space where she can be in the night where you feel comfortable leaving her so you can get some sleep too. I don't know your daughter so i am not sure what would be of help but you can get padded cushions to put on walls and make sure she has plenty of toys with her to keep her active.

    You are certainly not a bad mum! she is very lucky to have you and sounds like you are super supportive of her needs and feelings. And certainly put her needs before your own. that makes you an amazing mum. It will get better, you just need to find what works for the both of you

    Alisha xx

    P.S. here if you ever want to chat

Reply

  • Hiya,

    maybe talk to the doctor without her present. 

    I don't have much advice on the food. She'll get hungry and want to eat eventually. Have you tried different foods, different textures, colours, make it interesting? if she isn't at risk of choking, try giving her a bowl of food and see what she does. we did this with my cousin (whos also on the spectrum and struggles to feed himself) and he put his head in it and ate it that way which was a bit messy but he had lots of fun and it got him eating again, we turned it into a game. Honestly not sure, your GP might have some suggestions

    You can get things for her to bite Sensory Fidget Chewelry Rolla Tool Necklace Autism SEN ADHD Biting Hand Fidget | eBay, something like that. try and make it clear the next time that she bites you that it hurts. She isn't doing it to hurt you, she's trying to communicate.

    Fingerscrossed school is ok on thursday

    That's quite a common issue in children on the spectrum, does she have a bedtime routine, that's really important. She needs a safe space where she can be in the night where you feel comfortable leaving her so you can get some sleep too. I don't know your daughter so i am not sure what would be of help but you can get padded cushions to put on walls and make sure she has plenty of toys with her to keep her active.

    You are certainly not a bad mum! she is very lucky to have you and sounds like you are super supportive of her needs and feelings. And certainly put her needs before your own. that makes you an amazing mum. It will get better, you just need to find what works for the both of you

    Alisha xx

    P.S. here if you ever want to chat

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