Hello,
My 5 year old daughter was diagnosed on friday with aspergers it was only our second visit with the community pediatrician so i never expected to find out so soon i thought it would take longer. I knew in my heart that she would be diagnosed with aspergers yet i still feel shocked.
It's not true that children don't "get labelled" any more as diagnoses are still given. However, the way our local CAMHS have behaved it makes me wonder whether there is some secret edict from the government to avoid giving as many diagnoses as possible so that there is less demand on services.
You could buy some PECS-style social stories (eBay has lots) for your daughter and try to find out what is prompting her reactions. She may have sensory issues and the more you can do to help her with those the calmer she may become.
Don't expect her to behave like a neurotypical child as she is not one. Ask her what bothers her, and if she says she doesn't know, help her to understand what it is so that you can help and support her.
My 12yo has been home-educated for 3 years...due to having past problems in schools (socially), however now she has decided to give school another try and as it will be secondary this time she is going to find it hugely difficult because of the social expectations of the teenage years, she won't be able to cope. She is, like other autistic children, emotionally younger than her age and likes younger things than her peers so that will make her a target for bullies and make her struggle to fit in. I am dreading it. I am also dreading having to deal with her stress and complaints about social incidents as that was how it was before when she was at school.
My daughter has just been diagnosed finally after a long drawn out battle for 6 years. Her school provided conflicting evidence which made it worse. I have been told by experts that girls somehow mask their behaviour in new situations. They are aware of the social cues and rules, so how come when she is at home with me or grandparents that she is a living nightmare. Why am I the punch bag?
I have struggled for so long for someone to notice her behaviour that now I can breathe a sigh of relief, but on the other hand I still feel guilty and embarrassed by her behaviour.
I have read journals spoke to professors attended meetings all to try and get an understnding but there is no one who can precisely say well it is caused by this.......
I now have to wait to see another professional because I was told that children don't get labelled anymore, is this true???
I never wanted my daughter labelled but having that precise diagnosis will hopefully help us all who live with her to have a better understanding of her ways.
Oh yes, we have that, although we did not like my boy being in the room when we were talking to the Dr it did bring out in him the behaviour we get at home for them to see.
In fact we took in a recording on my mobile phone of his 6 hour tantrums when he was younger. Asked them if him kicking,screamin, biting, hitting, head butting etc etc after two hours of calming down was normal? (Im glad we are not the only ones having meltdowns). Funny enough the school and the Dr did not think so and so put us back in the system. unfortunatly now been waiting an age to get to the next stage.
Any ideas how to push them along, unfortunatley lost father in law recently so last twenty months have just been coping with child and dealing with other issues so have not pushed with Dr, now doing that.
Services do seem to be crap, however his school have been so much better. They have provided what they call protective behaviour teaching which he does during his school time. It has helped enormously to help him to see that he has people to turn to and talk to - it doesn;t have to be his parents which he seems to find more difficult to do.
Don't know how well the school knows your daughter, I am dreading secondary as I know they are more hands off than hands on, but might help give her an avenue to talk through her feelings and control her emotions (which is what we have major trouble with) and causes alot of the behaviour issues.
I dont know if this helps, I'm not sure from what you have written if the school have acknowledged what your going through at home. My son only has problems at play times and change overs - social times and the rest of the time as you say is a fab student at school. In fact he loves the routine and struggles (and this reflects in his behaviour) when that routine changes. Although the school have experienced the behaviour issues with me getting him to school with full blown biting tantrums simply because his cannot understand the importance of complying with my routine at home?
Sorry, hope I'm not going on but its nice others are going through the same - in a weird sort of way. I will have to see if my husband wants to chat on here sometime I know he finds it incredibly difficult to deal with as he is at work so much he doesn't get to see other parents who have similar problems and therefore only sees the angels walking loveingly with their very happy parents!!
IntenseWorld said:said he didn't see any signs and I trusted them. (I'm a lot wiser now).
He (like some people I've found) probably has a stereotype of what Autism is and if your daughter didn't fit his ideas, then he probably thinks there's no way she can be on the spectrum. As you may know, (and he should do) females are different to males on the spectrum.
And then there are some child who are well behaved when being seen by proffesionals and act differently (what is normal for them) at home.
@Honeybee12: I can beat that (age-wise and I'll match you on length of time-wise!), my daughter is 12 and still awaiting a diagnosis despite having had a rushed and cursory CAMHS assessment. I tried to get her assessed at 8 and the Ed Psych was rubbish, he knew nothing about the "different behaviour between school and home" issue and said he didn't see any signs and I trusted them. (I'm a lot wiser now). I knew she had Asperger's when I was desperately searching for reasons for her meltdowns and difficult behaviours when she was six but at that point I didn't know what I could do about it or where to turn. Rubbish isn't it when services are so crap. It's an achievement when you get a diagnosis in many ways. (My other daughter was diagnosed less than a year ago).
I think your lucky to have a diagnoses, atleast you have a chance at an early age to get support and understanding. My child is nearly ten now and we are still waiting to get through the system. At 4 they said he was willful and strong minded - REallyy!!!
Now I have read some of the information on this site and it fit with my son which despite being upsetting is somewhat a relief to see we are not insane.! We have the social, anger managament side of problems with him and it has affected the whole family for the last 10 years. I am so tired.
Hi - a diagnosis, even if you're expecting it, can still come as a shock, especially if you thought the process would take longer than it did. It takes time to adjust + everyone adjusts in their own time + in their own way. Many parents say there's so much to learn. Sites like this 1 are great for info + support so make full use of it whenever you want to + ask whatever you want. Also I think it helps to focus the mind by researching how autism affects your individual child, rather than necessarily reading about autism in general, altho that's important too. Ultimately your child is the same child they always were before they were diagnosed. When my son was 1st diagnosed all I could see was the autism in everything he did. The diagnosis, especially at an early age can be very helpful. You can understand your child better + so help them more. You can apply for a statement of educational needs so they hopefully get the support they need at school. Knowledge and the passage of time will make your more confident in your ability to understand and help your child. Lots of support + experience on here from people who understand how you feel.
