Social and Communication Disorder

Thanks for your reply and the list of resources. Very insightful indeed. The consultant was hesitant about diagnosing him with Autism, for the lack of any prominent traits and repetitive patterns.  He said that another consultant might put him within the spectrum! My son is getting re assessed this year, hopefully. He is very social and craves being popular, but it's like he different language than the rest of his classmates.  Rejection led him to harbouring  dark thoughts and considering self harm. I'm worried about secondary school next year,  because he will be surrounded by same age kids. He never managed to get along with them, as he tends to stick to younger kids. 

How strange, this IS the most prominent trait - or marker of different "neuro-wiring". Along with sensory - emotional and physical impact (thus the extreme dark thoughts, or intense/passionate 'interests'). How curious considering repetition is human if not a matter of fundamental physics. Sometimes it is how humans deal with trauma and sometimes it is unseen due to a dependable, repetitive schedule or reliable, trustworthy parents. 

It's important to re-think how we speak about things because it impacts how we understand a thing. Such as one "harbouring" their own thoughts. What happens is, we all desire Continuity / Congruity with our surroundings to make sense of them. Autistics feel this impact of dis-unity more intensely. So if the world around says You are not worth-while, we either internalise or externalise this. It sounds like he took others' rejection of his being and internalised it. These are not his dark thoughts, he simply allowed others cruelties to be "parked" in the "harbour" of his Mental well-being by accepting them as true. If he were to have a think about the type of humans he'd want to be friends with, doubtful he'd accept these cruelties and integrate them into his views about himself.

Once he can learn how amazing his own thought process is (Autistic Thinking is Extraordinary) and a few bits of wisdom to get along with others, you won't have to worry much about secondary school. 

I couldnt agree more! He internalised their perceptions so much that his self esteem reached such a low level. I had to keep telling him that he was a very smart boy, kind and caring. I keep reminding him of his inherent qualities and how proud we are to have him for a son. We are working with him on how to chose his friends and steer away from negative people. How to build his self confidence and be kinder to himself and how to embrace his difference and see it as a strength. It's a long process, but we'll get there. I do genuinely feel lucky to be his mum. His mind is amazing he keeps impressing us all with his cognitive abilities.

Your words are of great comfort! Thanks for your insight. Food for thought!

I couldnt agree more! He internalised their perceptions so much that his self esteem reached such a low level. I had to keep telling him that he was a very smart boy, kind and caring. I keep reminding him of his inherent qualities and how proud we are to have him for a son. We are working with him on how to chose his friends and steer away from negative people. How to build his self confidence and be kinder to himself and how to embrace his difference and see it as a strength. It's a long process, but we'll get there. I do genuinely feel lucky to be his mum. His mind is amazing he keeps impressing us all with his cognitive abilities.

Your words are of great comfort! Thanks for your insight. Food for thought!